Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I've let go of my husband. He told me he's not in love with me. Why would I want him back? Yes in the beginning the emotional roller coaster was intense but when all those emotions were out and dealt with I was still left with the simple truth that I want someone who loves me as much as I love them. My marriage was a fairy tale and I miss it but one of the main characters wasn't in it till the end and it's done now. It's time to start a new book.
I read so many heart wrenching posts in here that I don't understand. Do people not know they deserve to be happy? Do they not know there are healthy relationships and you have to hold out for the good ones instead of settling for whatever they can get? Is it a matter of not having enough faith in ones self to be alone?
I was watching an interview with Ricky Gervais the other night. The interviewer asked him about his wife/girlfriend of 25 years. They've never been married because neither saw a reason for it. They had already made a commitment to each other and didn't need a contract from the state or God saying anything different. I happen to feel the same way but that's not the point. They made a commitment to each other. The interviewer asked what their secret was for being together that long. Ricky answered with "There's no secret at all. We have similarities, we both have a sense of humor and a mutual respect for each other."
Could it really be that simple? Yeah it can! And it should be. If it's not I'd rather be alone.
I read so many heart wrenching posts in here that I don't understand. Do people not know they deserve to be happy? Do they not know there are healthy relationships and you have to hold out for the good ones instead of settling for whatever they can get? Is it a matter of not having enough faith in ones self to be alone?
I was watching an interview with Ricky Gervais the other night. The interviewer asked him about his wife/girlfriend of 25 years. They've never been married because neither saw a reason for it. They had already made a commitment to each other and didn't need a contract from the state or God saying anything different. I happen to feel the same way but that's not the point. They made a commitment to each other. The interviewer asked what their secret was for being together that long. Ricky answered with "There's no secret at all. We have similarities, we both have a sense of humor and a mutual respect for each other."
Could it really be that simple? Yeah it can! And it should be. If it's not I'd rather be alone.
Did I want to stay? Kind of because I made a commitment to him and our family. It would have been easier in the end for me if he had agreed to go to counseling but he refused. I still would like to know what his major malfunction in life was (and apparently) still is. Was it that my money ran out after supporting him 8 out of 11 years? Was it his alcohol/pot/porn addictions? Was it his not wanting to grow up past his Grateful Dead days? Was it he just couldn't accept any type of responsibility at all for anything? Was it that he was embarrassed that he got caught cheating and lying? Was it that all he really ever cared about was himself?
Did I and do I deserve much, much better? Yes! Was I afraid to be alone, therefore stayed? No! I stayed because I thought he was an honorable person.
Because of everything that happened and is still happening I feel taken advantage of, used and abused and finally discarded like a piece of trash. He shredded my life and my kids' lives without a thought past his own hope of getting laid. He hasn't taken every single thing from me emotionally, mentally and financially.
I am a tough person, but he has destroyed me. I have hope for my future but just a small glimmer at the moment.
Do not allow yourself to believe he has destroyed you. You will feel better over time. That glimmer about your future will get brighter with time.
and in breakups it often takes the heart much longer than common sense to give up that desire to have.
...patience.
Being alone isn't all that bad!!! I was happy alone, after my divorce. Then I met someone, about 18 months later and now I'm happy to be with him!!!! I think relationships have a better chance if each person is comfortable in their own skin first.
I agree with you, Chi. I'm hoping not everyone makes it complicated though. I haven't given up on happily ever after.