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Why does she still want to fight?

luvmygirl4
luvmygirl4
Okay she left five weeks ago and filed for divorce days later.

Last night when talking about how to trade weekends with our daughter so I can take her to a wedding, she started bringing up things from the fight, accusing me of kicking her out and that's her whole reason for doing everything. But I only told her she was free to leave but I wouldn't take her back. I then left and when I returned she and the kids were gone.

Why is she bringing this stuff up? Why is she arguing and threatening to not let me take our daughter to the wedding? I was doing so well in getting over her and now she's coming back at me with her meaness.

I didn't talk long and said to email me her decision on the weekends. I want NC so badly but she calls to talk to our daughter. She stops over randonly to pick up an item or two or pack (for a few minutes). I can't get her our of my hair!
deleted_user
deleted_user
the more emotional the partner, i.e. anxiety and depression, the less that their partner can be. so, detach as much away from her as you can.
LuvelyGurl29
LuvelyGurl29
She's fighting because she is hurting probably. A range of emotions is a roller coaster ride. For your daughter try and make it amicable. I'll do anything for my kids not to hurt, but they do through all this anyways. This is never what we want for our kids so we have to put them first and the rest aside. By the sounds of it ur a great dad! Just don't respond with a fight back and try and realize its emotions talking.
As hard as it may be...
hurtinandhealin2560
hurtinandhealin2560
Be careful---lots of people who play the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" card find out later that the single life is tough. She's throwing the guilt trip, rewriting history, and fighting with you because she is angry with HERSELF for the choices she has made. It's easier to fight with you than to look in a mirror at who she is really angry at.

Sadly, it sounds like she will be one of those parents who uses the child as a weapon. Do you have a separation agreement or temporary orders in place? This would take care of visitation issues. If you don't, I strongly recommend you speak to an attorney. This will go a long way in preventing this type of behavior from her.

I don't want to discourage reconciliation but if she has refused counseling, I don't know what more you can do. And if she's only coming back because she needs a place to land and isn't serious about you or the marriage, then you would be wasting your time and opening yourself up to more pain.

Sending hugs.