Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Okay so about a year ago I met a girl a few years younger than me, and we've been in a relationship since around then, and then there's been ups and downs but overall she fell in love with me pretty hard and clearly so did I with her...
So yea things were going great, no signs of alarm, then last week she just came out of nowhere and dumped me for no reason, then the next day she came back crying for forgiveness, then the next day came back and dumped me once again, saying that it was because she had cheated on me in the previous days and felt guilty over it. She said that I was the best thing to ever happen to her but she was in pain because of her poor choices, and dumped me again, but promised to stay away from that guy...
Well yesterday she had sex with him, and now is coming to me worried about her being pregnant and doesn't know what to do. I don't understand because I'm gonna be honest, I'm not perfect but I'm a good guy, I hate how most guys treat girls and I just naturally am a really kinda shy and sweet with girls and If i date somebody well it takes a lot to get me to commit to them, but once I do, I'm in forever no matter what, I love really hard, I've never dumped or cheated on anyone ever, and I've always put her/the other person first in the relationship and strive to see them happy and loved and I commit all my spare time to them and making them feel loved and cherished. It takes a lot for me to get to that point, but once I do I'm there, and all I wanted in return is the same unconditional, undying love that I give....
Which:( she gave me:(
But all of a sudden she just comes out of nowhere just torturing me and playing with my heart for no reason,she just seemingly randomly thinks abusing my loyalty is fun I guess.. I'm pretty fucking broken right now...
That's wonderful you love hard, don't let this stop you from doing it again at some point but for now if you need a specific ear to listen, feel free to message me.
I'm also not one of those people who believes once a cheater always a cheater, however I do think it makes it easier for someone to do it again knowing they've survived it once. I cheated on my husband one time in retaliation (terrible reason), never felt good about it and even threw up afterwards at that very moment but my husband continued to cheat whereas I couldn't have done it again. I don't know her and I don't know you but I can relate and provide different perspectives of you have questions.
What is good is she told you, what is good she feels guilty. What isnt good is she is playing with your heart breaking up getting back breaking up. That is clearly not leading either of you down a healthy path and a path to fix things.
You need to really think, if you choose to get back together can you live with what she did, will you honestly be able to trust her again or will it just eat you up inside and will you always be worried and therefore it may cause troubles in your relationship. Only you know this.
You two need to sit down and talk regardless about what happened, why it happened and what if anything is the next step. Maybe you can say we can start from scratch as friends and see if how you feel and if you are ok around her and then build things up. Like selene said maybe going to counselling could help as a third party is an amazing tool to have. But first you need to work out your feelings in your head and then just sit down and talk it out.....
You can get through this xx