Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I ve been broken up with my ex for over a year, he had blocked me on facebook after we first broke up, I just saw the other day he unblocked me. While looking through my own pics I noticed a comment he made under one of my pics was back, it had been gone when he blocked me then re-appeared once he unblocked me I guess. Anyway now I m so tempted to look at his page, I talked to a family member abt it and they said he probably did it on purpose cuz he's married or engaged, so now that has my mind wandering even more!!!! I havent looked because I know whatever I see will wreck me, I'm so pissed at myself that he still affects me so much. I keep seeing and hearing things that remind me of him, songs that use to mean something to us play at the worst possible times, and random coincidences of things I see make me thing its some kind of sign but its not...............I dont know what sign I'm waiting for its over I need to accept that. I feel so pathetic still being this sad and lonely and miserable after a year. I do know he d moved on and has a girlfriend I found that out in March, and that was a horrible few weeks. I m just venting my feelings because I dont know who to talk to anymore. Its easy for people to just say "dont look" or "stop thinking about him" but actually doing it seems impossible still. Maybe I need a better life.......which I've been working on just not enough i guess..........idk.
Ariadne101
Sorry to read about your pain. Looking at his facebook stuff or speculating about his content is just wounding you more and more. Look at http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com and read about the no contact rule. This means no telephoning, texting, social media, even talking about him. See it as a spring cleaning of your soul. If you lapse just start again. Get on with living your life for you. Regards.
deleted_user
It's difficult to get over relationships. There's no on/off button to our feelings. It's a process and everyone is different in how long it takes to become ok. I would suggest you block him and save yourself the pain. He's moved on. Take care of you.
sheemee
Thank you both for taking the time to respond, its so true breakups are different for everyone, at first I kept thinking its going to get better you're going to get better, move on...........but I'm still waiting. Every little bit of advice helps so thanks again :)
happymama2j
it is hard, and sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse again. i mean, honestly you're further past it time-wise than i am. my divorce isn't final yet. but in my mind i know we are over forever. but still i find him popping into my thoughts a million times a day. we've had zero contact since memorial day weekend. but the brain does what it does. it also doesnt help that my precious baby is the spitting image of his daddy. so i see his face everyday, on the body of the person i love most in this world. but even when not around my son, things just wash over me related to my stbxh and even though he did many despicable things to me, and continues to do horrible things in his day to day life, there is still a part of me that misses the "good" part of him. why, i don't know. i hold on to hope that one day it will improve. so while i really don't have any advice to offer you, other than put one foot in front of the other, make the best of each day, i still understand how it feels when that person "gets" to you. big hugs to you.
deleted_user
Yes, we get consumed and obsessive and compulsive about them but eventually our focus will change and new things will fill our thoughts and lives. It's all a part of healing. We have to face it all an deal with it to get better. It would be easy if we could just erase them from our thoughts, but we are only human with emotions and feelings that we have to deal with. Hugs
sheemee
Thank you both for your hugs :) Its easy to think you're the only person to ever feel this way, to ever have a broken heart and heartless ex, so hearing your words and knowing this awful pain isn't just something I'm experiencing, its "normal" is nice to hear. I dont know why we feel so alone during break ups when so many people go through it and know how it feels. Hugs back to you both :)
Join the Conversation