Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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BrooklynnMB 03/03/2014

I know this is not realistic but I find myself selfishly thinking at times that my situation is worse than other break ups.

I dumped him, and it was a mistake so it is all my fault!

I've known him since I was 19 and he is my best friend so I lost a friend and a fiance.

We were engaged, lived together, and had a life together so my life has changed and not for the better.

He did nothing wrong it was all me! I have pushed away someone who would've treated me like a princess because I am a total idiot!

So I know that thinking that my situation is worse than others is selfish and very irrational. Others are in the same situation, or maybe even worse! So I'm not saying that my situation is worse than anyone else's. I know that it is not...

But why does it FEEL like it is?

AurorasHope 03/03/2014

Because we tend to live in our own little bubble? Because you are only seeing certain parts of everyone else's relationships while you have your own on repeat all the time and in that, you kick your own as over and over and feel that pain all of the time?

Fact is, you erred big time with him and in that, you may or may not get him back in time. You can either learn from it and grow...that whole know better, do better thing. Or you can keep kicking your own butt and beating yourself up over your failings. I kinda think the learning and growing sounds a bit better. The other sounds exhausting.

BrooklynnMB 03/03/2014

I'm making baby steps. Today is the first day that I have been able to say to myself "ok, you made a mistake, you can't change it, what you can do is learn from it"

AurorasHope 03/03/2014

Baby steps are better than staying stagnant and good for you for cutting yourself a bit of a break.

deleted_user 03/03/2014

Or...you've made the best decision for you long term. That's the yucky part about relationships - We are creatures of habit and change, even when it's wanted, can be overwhelming. So we question whether or not we made the right decision. "What if..." I think that's a natural reaction, to worry if you made the right decision. It takes time to work through emotions. I'm struggling with that now, wanting immediate answers on if I made the right move. But the answer is like those little black dots we get in our eyes sometimes. Try to stare directly at it and it goes away. Don't pay attention and you can see it.

ChiTownBear 03/03/2014

what happens to us always seems to be worse then any other thing that can happen to anyone to in the world. However, we know when we see the hunger, homeless and other devastation that has happened, we are reminded just how small something like a breakup really is compared to more life threatening situations.

however, it doesn't stop us from feeling like the world is over when someone breaks our heart or worse yet, you make a mistake and the control to fix it is not in your hands, like in your situation.

Good job taking baby steps to feel better.

stillbitterjaded 03/03/2014

that's the best thing about an online support group, it's ALL about you and how you feel. in your world, you ARE the worst.

ersonally, I think when yone starts to see this it's a small step in healing. When you see that "Wow - maybe it's NOT as devestating"....maybe i WILL make it.

People here tend to play the "my hurt is worse" game at the best of times. That THEIR situation is different/special/unique.

It's not.

BUT - as a group we tend to give the breakups the respect they deserve.

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