Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am at a loss. They set the date, they bought the dress. I dont think she knows (and I sure as hell didnt) that we slept together when they were going out. I wont bring it up with her. its not my place. I mean he slept with her while he was going out with me. Did she know? I doubt it. Its not her fault she is marrying a liar.
I remember when I went dress shopping and he got all scared and said he didnt want to get married, but still wanted to be with me. This time (his third engagement) he writes on his facebook wall and posts the picture saying how beautiful she is. Yes I know, I need to NOT go on facebook. I keep torturing myself.
But why do I feel this way? I would never take him back after all the mean things he did. I never once got a birthday present. Yes he did bring me flowers (5 times out of 6 years). He told me he would cheat on me if I didnt do things for him and he didnt have porn. I made so many dinners for him, waiting for him to come home and he either didnt come home, or didnt want what I had made. I bought a picknic basket and wanted to take him on a picknic but he always said no. He ended up going to the strippers.
So why do I feel so sad and angry? Why do I feel it was better to be in such a horrible relationship and be crapped on all the time then be alone? I dont want to be bitter, but I cant seem to let go.
Ugh.
I remember when I went dress shopping and he got all scared and said he didnt want to get married, but still wanted to be with me. This time (his third engagement) he writes on his facebook wall and posts the picture saying how beautiful she is. Yes I know, I need to NOT go on facebook. I keep torturing myself.
But why do I feel this way? I would never take him back after all the mean things he did. I never once got a birthday present. Yes he did bring me flowers (5 times out of 6 years). He told me he would cheat on me if I didnt do things for him and he didnt have porn. I made so many dinners for him, waiting for him to come home and he either didnt come home, or didnt want what I had made. I bought a picknic basket and wanted to take him on a picknic but he always said no. He ended up going to the strippers.
So why do I feel so sad and angry? Why do I feel it was better to be in such a horrible relationship and be crapped on all the time then be alone? I dont want to be bitter, but I cant seem to let go.
Ugh.
you may never have the answers to those questions you wrote in the first paragraph. its her issue now. she will either figure it out or she wont.
i agree - when you want to stop torturing yourself by seeking things out like FB you will stop. i remember doing that with his myyearbook page - i would let it ruin my whole day. then i realized i was doing it to myself and if i am not going to be strong enough to cope with what i see and let it ruin my day, then i am not going to do it. i looked at his page over the holidays - honestly, it just made me sad. he looks so sad. his eyes. anyway.
you feel that way because you are human and you were betrayed. feel how you need to feel. dont deny yourself that.
what are you doing to stay busy? are you working? in school? volunteering? exercising? setting new goals for yourself? what are you staying focused on besides this? as much as i complain about my lonliness, etc. on here it has helped me TONS to stay focused on other things. it still seeps thru obviously - but it really cuts the edge off most of the time.
go easy on yourself. xoxo