Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
After 15yrs of marriage, 17yrs of her, my wife walked out the door. We had a lot of good years and a couple of bad.
Back story
She was pregnant when I met her. I stayed by her side through the pregnancy, and delivery, and we had a daughter. The real dad wanted nothing to do with the baby. I was dad. We had three more babies. Losing one at 14 months old. Our marriage wasn't perfect. I was faithful, devoted, and tried to always put her first. There were times I worked too much, leaving her alone to raise the kids. I thought it was for the greater good. She was unfaithful before, even kicked me out of my own house to be with that guy. It lasted a few months then she asked for a fresh start. I was in love and said yes. We moved to a new state and began again. This time she wanted me to stay home with the kids and she went to work. Everything was good. We were happy, or at least I thought. 7yrs past we were getting into debt. I went back to work. But 7yrs of no work history left me with little options. I went to school and started driving a truck. With little home time it was kaos. We agreed to 1yr of it to pay off bills. The year ended in November. She walked out in December.
The last day
After a week of not really talking, her eyes barely left her phone, I confronted her. I asked what is going on with her. I asked her why she wasn't talking to me. I told her I missed her. How hard being alone on the road was. She just sat there with a blank stare. I asked her to say something... finally she said "I got used to you being gone. I don't like you being home." The words killed me, I got angry, and without raising my voice stupidity poured from my mouth. I told her if she wanted to leave then go. I won't hold her back. By the next morning she found a place to stay. She told my daughter that I kick both of them out. They packed up and walked out leaving me and my 2 boys.
The reality
Over the next couple of months a lot of stuff started pouring out of the closet. She was with 2 different people within weeks of separating. She's staying in a motel room and had a guy there over night when she had my young boys. She told me that within weeks of saying our vows she cheated on me. Through the whole marriage she had been with over a dozen guys, some of which she never got a name. She told me she had a problem. She told me I was so perfect and she destroyed everything about me.she said she was a horrible mother and never a wife.
The problem
Knowing everything I know now I still can't let go. Her current boyfriend is such a deadbeat, yet she chose that over me. She filed for divorce 2 days ago. For some dumb reason I still hold out hope. I can't not talk to her. She texts me good morning and goodnight, saying she loves me, but she's still with him. She even told me that she hasn't set in stone the divorce and can withdraw it. I hang onto those little pieces. I can see everything around me telling me it over, yet I hang onto hope. It sound idiotic even to me, but I can't let go. I am in love with her and I don't want to be. Can anyone explain that to me? Does anyone feel the same or am I just that crazy?
1. Get checked for STDs.
2. Get counseling/therapy for yourself.
She is playing mind games with you and getting a rise out of this.
She knows you will sit on the back burner. Your her fall guy.
Your holding on because your a good person that does hope. But her actions speak louder than words.
She is disrespecting you and you have lost respect for yourself and have low standards for a relationship.
That is beyond acceptable and she took advantage of a hard working family man.
When you put everyone and everything else first ....you forgot to put you first and love your self first. It’s like being in an airplane and the masks drop. You have to put it on your mouth first before your kids.....
You know what I mean. She depleted you while you were depleting yourself.
Get a lawyer right away know your rights.
When one door closes One door opens. Run to it. I know I am. Johnny29
Secondly, get a lawyer and tell him/her that she had a strange man in the room overnight with minor children present. Document these incidents with dates, times, names, exact quotes of what was said. At minimum you can get it written into your papers that she cannot do this. You might even be able to get an emergency court order where you have the kids all the time. She is displaying poor judgment. If you can get the name of the deadbeat guy and give it to your lawyer, they can do searches and dig up more criminal background than us regular people can.
Good luck!