Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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HeaveToo 06/19/2008

My biggest passion in life is to sail. I have a boat that I have cruised all over the Chesapeake Bay and it has been a major part of my life since I was a child. I have always dreamed of spending time cruising my boat and I plan to make a run to the Caribean when I retire (at age 50).

My wife got to the point that she didn't like going out on the boat. She didn't hate that I had it and I think that she liked the fact I would spend time on it (I was away from her). I never went there to get away from her but I went there to get peace (my work can be hell as I am a Police Officer and I see some bad stuff).

I have been forced by my Doctor to take some time off (my blood pressure is really high from all that is going on and I had my first heart attack at age 28). I am debating on taking a short cruise, for a few days, but I am afraid to do it. I am afraid to be alone on the boat for a while by myself because I am worried about being alone in my thoughts. I don't have anyone around that I can cruise with.

Does this seem wierd to anyone?

I know that once I heal I will have to find someone who would enjoy the cruising because I would love to find a woman who would cruise with me and want to go with me to the Caribean.

HeaveToo 06/19/2008

Oh, if anyone is wondering, my avatar is my boat and that is the sweeps (Jolly Roger) flying off my spreader. I use to fly it often but my wife hated it when I flew Ol' Roger.

I love nautical history and I have read a lot about historical pirates. I usually fly the flag that Stede Bonnet flew because I have never seen anyone else flying it.

At least, now, I can go out on the boat and not feel bad about flying Roger and listening to some good old sea shanties (old work songs from the tall ships).

deleted_user 06/19/2008

Dude...

You're a cop (Johnny Depp on 21 Jump Street), you own a boat (Johnny Depp in Pirates), and you want to sail to the Caribbean (ummm, Johnny Depp in Pirates).

I think you're gonna be OK. (Just between us, the chicks DIG Johnny Depp)

deleted_user 06/19/2008

I understand fear heavetoo.. It kept me immobilized in a very bad marriage for 19 years. I am free of that now and doing things I want. Life is short . You may not find anyone to sail with you for awhile and there is no time like the present to sail. I love boats and think that you owe it to yourself as a reward of surviving a heart attack at age 28. Go and have the best fun.. Listen to the sounds of the wind on the sails, the waves on the boat as it glides through the water,. Get caught up in the incredible sunsets that take your breath away.. It sounds like a little piece of heaven on earth to me and it is only for a few days.. Then you can come back and tell us all about it and I will sigh and enjoy the vision.. Kimmee

HeaveToo 06/19/2008

Yeah....too bad I don't look like him!

You know....to quote Jack Sparrow.... If this was a dream there'd be rum.

That is how I know that this last bit is not a nightmare....no rum.

deleted_user 06/19/2008

Thats why she is our homecoming queen and I am most likely to get beat up by street thugs for my Member's Only jacket.

Well played, Kimmee!

deleted_user 06/19/2008

Thank you tangled.. LOL.

deleted_user 06/19/2008

its now weird to be scared to do normal stuff..thats part of the ride.get yours nerves up buddy go sailing..fly the roger and sing loud your sailing songs..you might cry..probably will, but do it and enjoy it..make yourself..it'll be tough, but overcoming the shcitt is part of it..

HeaveToo 06/19/2008

It is just the fear of being out there with no one else around to talk to ...I am worried that I would get despearate and call her or get really depressed (just found out that I have a tendancy for depression).

The wind and the waves are nice. The feeling of gliding along the water with no engine sounds. Being up at ancor and looking at the stars. I know that I will return to the sea soon, but I am wondering if it is too soon to be out of the safety of my friends and family support network.

Then again, I do have a laptop with an air card so I could at least speak with you guys if I started getting bad!

deleted_user 06/19/2008

Heave, I hear ya - being alone with our own thoughts is scary enough in a normal place, but this no mans land where we are now makes it down right terrifiying! That's why sites like this are so helpful, it lets us bounce those thoughts around with other people and see if we really are whacked or not.
I think it just takes time, just dont ask me how much cause I have no frikin clue.

And LMAO @ the rum I said the exact thing to my daughter the other day and she said well lets go get some then gotta love Jonny

deleted_user 06/19/2008

Well now with the laptop.. your not alone! You get on here when you feel like calling her someone will set you straight lol

deleted_user 06/19/2008

Your thoughts are not weird at all. Very normal given what we are going through, as far as I am concerned. I too am struggling with where I am. Never in a million years, would I ever have thought, I would be facing life alone, broke, jobless, homeless, my children deceased. I never had high blood pressure until my daughter died and I started the process of divorce. I think it is just taking baby steps back to the things we enjoy doing. All we can do is try. Take care of you.

HeaveToo 06/19/2008

Oh, got to tell one other intersting fact...My log in, Heave Too, is an old tatic for weathering storms. It is also a way to basically park a sailboat at sea.

The way it is done is to backwind the jib (front sail) and then let the main sail (rear sail) fly slightly. You then lock the steering hard to wind. The boat will stablize and make very slow leeward progress.

I guess in a way we all are trying our best to weather storms.

deleted_user 06/19/2008

hell I cant even use an umbrella without poking myself in the eye.. what does that say for my abilities to weather this storm !?!

deleted_user 06/19/2008

I think a few days by yourself would be NICE! (With the all clear from your doc of course!) Do what YOU love to do....and do it by yourself! There's A LOT to be said about alone time.

HeaveToo 06/19/2008

In this stage alone time can be tough time. All jokes aside about rum, I am not toughing the stuff for a while because I won't want to bring that on board with all the emotional crap I am dealing with now. Who knows what that could lead to.

After this whole thing gets settled I am planning to sell my current boat and get a slightly bigger boat. I may live aboard part time (I have always wanted to do that but I never could have before).

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