Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Does anyone have an idea how someone you love with all your heart, and they tell you they feel the same, can just walk away, get divorced, with no remorse? I just can't understand what is different about all (or most) of us that we are devastated by it, and would never do the same. I know this topic has been discussed frequently, but really, do you think people really "fall out of love" or was it just never the kind of love most of us here experienced? I know there is not one simple answer, just can't wrap my mind around the "falling out of love" thing.... and why aren't they missing us? Do you think there is a common denominator in all of us that we hurt soooooo bad? Better yet, how do they move into a new relationship so quickly, when most of us can't even imagine that - now or ever! These may be unreasonable questions, but I JUST DON'T GET IT!!!!!!!!! Thanks......
I read something someone posted awhile back and it touched on this very subject....they said that our partners started grieving us LONG before they admitted they didn't want the marriage anymore. By that time they had already "got over" us so to say. If there's any pain when they leave it's nothing like the pain we have hearing that for the first time.
It's a hard pill to swallow knowing my ex had started emotionally pushing me away for years maybe and in the meantime Im still running around treating him like a loving wife.
Long sigh....slowly I am letting go of this because it's not serving to help me heal.
Take care of yourself!
That is exactly how it happened with me. It was a secret he'd kept and I was fooled by his acting 'close enough' with me to keep thinking we still were living our way into our future together.
I've wondered at what point did he finally think to himself it was OKAY to leave his family? What made him think it was OKAY, a GOOD CHOICE? An option worth choosing. Was there something about me that made it easy for him to do? Was I just a victim in waiting? Someone that would be easy to step on and crush and leave with no remorse. Hmm. I've had to do a lot of soul searching.
True love is hard, it has ups and downs, happy times and times of intense pain, feelings of intense love and admiration for your spouse and some times intense anger or frustration with your spouse and sometimes no feelings at all. It is working through all of the feelings, the bad times together and enjoying the good times together, and staying faithful and committed to our spouse despite our feelings that demonstrate what love truly is.
So we can spend years looking for the person in our ex, we fell in love with. Or we try to cope with the fact, that person wasn't there to start with , it was just a mirgae.
Does that mean you love needs to go away, no away, but it doesn't have to be with the one who looks like him/her.