Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I've still been living in the painful limbo of the divorce being *almost* final. The earliest the judge could have signed it was April 23rd but there's still no sign of it arriving in the mail. So there's that daily dread of checking the mailbox. Yes, I want it to just get here already so it can just be over with but at the same time I never want it to be real, ever. I'm a bit conflicted. ;)
Tonight while I was still at work (but after my STBX had left) he sent me a text on messenger. "So, we haven't told people yet, but I thought you would appreciate hearing it from me first instead of second hand. B*tchface (my term for her) and I are engaged."
it's like... the corpse isn't even cold yet and he's already dancing on it. I figured when I got home that the papers would be waiting for me in the mailbox, that he'd gotten his and that was why the timing he chose. Nope, still no papers. Not even that tiny saving grace of having the decency to wait until it's actually final before shoving it in my face that he proposed to that tramp.
It just brings home for me that there really is nothing at all left of the man I knew, had loved and was married to. Just... nothing. I don't recognize the creature he's become. And I certainly neither like nor respect what he's become.
Tonight while I was still at work (but after my STBX had left) he sent me a text on messenger. "So, we haven't told people yet, but I thought you would appreciate hearing it from me first instead of second hand. B*tchface (my term for her) and I are engaged."
it's like... the corpse isn't even cold yet and he's already dancing on it. I figured when I got home that the papers would be waiting for me in the mailbox, that he'd gotten his and that was why the timing he chose. Nope, still no papers. Not even that tiny saving grace of having the decency to wait until it's actually final before shoving it in my face that he proposed to that tramp.
It just brings home for me that there really is nothing at all left of the man I knew, had loved and was married to. Just... nothing. I don't recognize the creature he's become. And I certainly neither like nor respect what he's become.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I'd be upset if my STBX did this too.
Grieve, Get over him and heal from this painful experience. Remember that the day will come when he will regret ever treating you so badly. You reap what you SOW and he is SOWING some bad bad seeds right now.
Be the Bigger person and HEAL and Take CARE OF YOUUUUUUUUU... Lay it all on Gods Hands and he will Comfort you for the rest of your dayssssssss.....
My brain just keeps spinning and won't be still. What if he was never the person I thought he was? What if everything he said were just things he said but didn't really believe? What if the man I thought I loved all those years never truly existed at all and was only just an elaborate pretense of the lie that he got tired of maintaining?
I'd like to think that he was real at some point. That his new... personality is due solely to her influence over him. (Yeah, I know, no chance of that and besides it would absolve him of all blame.) I don't think she's a good influence on him, if so. In order to be with her, he chose to be and do things that he previously felt were wrong, actions that he would never have respected in another person. He was deliberately cruel and manipulative of another person. And not just some random person but one that he (claimed) he used to love and even more damning, one that he *knew* still loved him. He had to have counted on that because he deliberately played on and manipulated that love and trust in him to his own advantage. He compromised his own beliefs about what constitutes a decent human being.
I remind myself forcibly of all these sorts of things every time I start feeling that I'm what they actually are: trash, human refuse.
They care only about what they need, once they used up whatever it was that they needed use in another person...they don't care.
I am sorry for what you have been through, you are a good person,
DO Not think it is some karma that you deserved to be treated that way! karma is bullshit - e. g. Children's cancer ward... There isn't an 8 year old on the planet that deserves that.
You were 8 once, you still are innocent.
You are strong, you will get through this shit.
You matter.
Remember this says nothing about you but says something about him. Sometimes when people leave its a blessing. That other women has taken on some other problems he carries but remember. What he has done to you, he will do to her.
Take care and I hope things get better. What a jerk!
The Wonder Twins are now without a vehicle. She had apparently sold her truck at some point (hmm, money to cover bills? Since neither of them are especially good with money, neither of them can 'cook' so they eat out all the time. Or just maybe it was to have the money to buy him a ring... because *she* apparently is the one that gave *him* a ring. But oh no, she's not at all the one calling the shots in the relationship, nope, no sir). They biked to work Friday for the heck of it, leaving the car at the apartment. An uninsured driver with an out of control vehicle hit the car and according to Ian (the friend who took them to their apartment during lunch) it's basically totaled.
According to the apartment manager (who had called them), crazy ex-girlfriend of a guy that lives in the same complex steals the current GF's van with most of her crap in it, declaring "if I can't have him nobody can" and trashes the van. She supposedly put a laptop on the gas pedal and sent it loose in the parking lot where it smashed into their car.
I'm sorry for the car, I loved her. We had named her Alainn, which is Irish for 'beautiful'. Even now I would stop by her in the parking garage sometimes and pet her and speak with her a moment. I know, silly, right? I really am sad about losing her though. He only had the car to begin with because I bought it so it feels somehow appropriate that he no longer has the car either. ;p