Well, I think it's time you changed your name from NOBODY to something else for starters.....It sure sounds to me like your kinda tired of hanging on???? I think you know...Don't you? I am quite sure that if there was a RULE like, OK you will know FOR SURE in 4 months and 6 days, it would of been on Oprah by now, and we;d all know..but only you can tell, and even then don't be surprised if 4 years after ITS OVER you still question on occasion if it wouldn't of worked if..ONLY..., if you would of hung in there juuuuust a little longer. My personal experieince with myself, and that of my friends, is usually people hang on TOO LONG,,, not the other way around. Good luck. Do you have a councelor or friend or priest like person you can discuss this with?, you really seem to be struggling with making a decision that comes across as somethig you have already made...??? It is hard, and when kids are involved, it's damn near impossible to make this first step...Blessings.

I have a real good personal counselor, but she refuses to seek counseling. Of course my biggest fear is for the kid. But there is so much bad it outweighs the good. (as far as staying together till he's 18).

As far as Nobody... I have been nobody since I was a teenager I even am registered with the U.S. Government as nobody, I have a amateur radio license with the call sign kn0bdy. Sometimes it is good being nobody in the background doing good than Somebody doing nothing. =)

{{Nobody}} You have been going through this some time, and I thought that a decision had been made. I understand wanting to be there for your son, but you have to ask yourself what kind of role model is his Mom? I remember some of the problems. That was the final straw with my long term marriage, is what is was doing to our daughter.
We can't make others do anything. We can't make them change, learn, or grow. They have to do that all on their own, no matter how much we want it. Their life is theirs to do with as they wish. You have given it a lot of time to change, and Frozen is right , you are the only one that can make this decision.
I had to change so that I could change my future and I did that. Best to you with what you decide to do. Hugs, Kimmee

i stayed in my marriage for 4-5 years after I realized the marriage wasent working, we had another child afterwards too and it just seemed never ending with the arguments and the resentment just built. I have been divorced for 4 months and seperated a year and a half. I am a free er :) happier person and we talk much more and on a different level now. I still miss him on a daily basis but he is engaged and in a new relationship now even though I asked him to leave I havent moved on and he has. I asked my daughter who is 9 if she wanted dad to move back in and she asked me, would it be better for me? We have to think about the kids, if the relationship is uncomfortable the kids feel it and learn from it. People should be smiling and hugging and laughing together. Life is meant to be enjoyed not endured. So if you are staying "for the kids: like I did and many other people it may just be an excuse, no offense or anything but if you are not happy and you are trying to talk it out and its not working than you might want to see where your life is and set some goals. SHort term and long term. Ask yourself what you want for yourself and for the kids, what is keeping you there and what will make your situation better for you, the children and your spouse. Write out a pro;s and cons list, all teh good that can come of the split and the worst case scenario or the bad that may come of it.
In huge life changing decisions like this it may help to talk abou tit but the bottom line is its your life its your choice and only you know what is going on in your mind.
You will find a way to happiness, it will take looking at the facts and actually making a decision. Remember not making any choice is actually a choice in itself.
Good luck (pray about it if you believe, you will get an answer)