I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom for you but I got NOTHIN! I am still trying to convince myself that I can be a human, a woman, a friend, a PARENT and actually make a decision without him. I don't know your situation -- I am new here - actually was hanging out in the the codependent group and seeing that there are many other groups. For me, I know that my relationship with my husband was (still is) toxic and very dysfunctional but there are days when I have more "clarity" and "awareness" of that then others -- My therapist tells me awareness and clarity are good things but there is something to be said about ignorance is bliss!! I am hoping beyond hope that "connecting" with others that are walking a similar path will be helpful. Any advice for me???

Amen sisters!!! I was married 25 years to an abusive alcoholic, we have 4 kids, He was the love of my life, I love him still. I just could not do it anymore, it just hit me one day it was never going to change, I would die being unhappy, I wanted to know what it was like to just not have that up and down, back and forth, so I divorced him.
I did on line therapy for a year -- it helped. I thought I would die of a broken heart, but I didn't -- I have been in an a relationship for about 2 years - this guy is amazing, just great positive, fun, we have a great time.
But I still love my ex huband, I may never get over that, however he does not love me, or want me or want to treat me right...so I know I deserve better, it all came to a head a few weeks ago when my ex told me he met someone on line a few months ago and now today he says they are moving in together. I have been loosing my mind, crying, can't eat it's like it is all happening all over again.
My boyfriend has been out of town for a week, that is not helping -- he has no idea, my ex does not know I am seeing someone. The kids and I never told him.
Now I am worried that if I tell him about my boyfriend he will want to introduce this woman to my kids,my kids are still struggling with the divorce, it's been 3 years.
I thought it would be easier by now, I miss him, but I am less stressed, and I am trying to move forward. Now that I know he is not coming back without a doubt, I have to do for me, and only look forward, I can't look back, I can't control what he does...does not make it easier...but I am trying to change my routine, do something for myself each day, even if it's soaking in a bubble bath, read a book, read something on line about some self help anything to keep moving forward.
I am here ladies!!

I hope it gets better for you, i have the same feelings about my wife(stbx) we still live together and see each other every day but i deff miss all the interaction all day , and evening a quick text i love you or just to say hi and see how you are doing.

I also knew my ex for half my life. When he left me for another woman, I was devastated. I went back to church and was crying the whole time. They introduced my to a leader from Divorce Care. That's what really helped me with a lot of the feelings you are having. It also took time. Some days I wasn't sure how I'd live without him and some days I was so angry I never wanted to look at him again. Just take care of yourself. (((Hugs)))