Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Dad54 03/24/2017

My wife and I have been married almost 5 years now..we met here about 10 years ago and seemed to be doing really well. We took my ex to court for my daughter and won and things have be going down hill ever sense. My daughter thinks she wants to be transgender and has a girl friend. As a dad it hurts but I am there for her and support her. My wife has been on her bad about being normal and is always trying to invade her privacy with searching her room and phone. She is a good daughter and she does really well in school and I trust her..so anyway its been a week sense the last phone search and I passed my wife off because I think she took it too far.the phone was clean.my wife has been in our bedroom and won't come out or talk to me at all.I have tried talking and nothing.I think all of this has really cause us to call it done. Its been going on for 2 years and I think I've had it..any advice?

3cutiesmamaAndaFedUpWife 03/25/2017

I think your wife is being unreasonable and putting you in a very uncomfortable spot. Unnecessary. She can't ask you to choose between her and your daughter and you shouldn't have to. You need to tell her to back off your daughter, or your daughter might start resenting you for not standing up for her. I hope it works out and that your wife can learn to accept and support what your daughter wants to be. Good luck!

jojored 03/25/2017

Before you call it quits, make an appointment with a marriage counselor. It's really your daughter's decision about how she lives her life, and as a dad your role is to support, guide and when needed protect your daughter. Your wife's role is the same. I'm sure your daughter is going through enough inner turmoil as it is. Unless your wife thinks she's doing drugs, stealing, that kind of illegial stuff (which you don't seem to think she is doing) why check the phone? Your wife has trust issues? Do these kind of issues extend to you too? Does she check your phone or wallet? Your wife must come clean herself about her behavior. Good luck. By the way, my boys lock their phones and I'm ok with that. They're good kids also, I don't need to know what they're texting to their friends. I remember being young myself and needing privacy.

patti22 03/25/2017

For daughter, possibly a medical checkup. Sometimes hormonal issues are the reason, sometimes it's a sexual birth defect that you never knew of. Sometimes she might need psychological help in deciding who she is.

(I'm fiercely non-judgmental for sexual issues...but the doctor's visit is still first.)

As for your current wife, she really should stay out of it. Sexual issues can make many people uncomfortable. Perhaps if the two of you join a support group for parents of gay/trans teens...(I have no clue if one is even available) ...it might help her understand?

Dad54 03/25/2017

Thank you all for the replays..very helpful for me...

strongandsilent 03/25/2017

You have to protect and support your daughter. Period.

Dad54 03/25/2017

Thank you..

Mem 03/26/2017

Definitely seek family counseling. Your wife is displaying signs of anxiety... Does she have control issues? Sometimes it is the lack of control with issues beyond our well control that make people react in a different way to how they are normally.
Support your child but seek help for yourself individually first. Your counselor will be able to give you insight and information you may never have considered.
Sorry to read you are going through this but you have support here which is great!

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