you can have spark over a whole lot more than just charm and sex appeal

comfort is so lovely
but it can also become a dependency, and boredom or complacency

but if theres curiousity, passion, and laughter, all things requiring some spark, it can keep 2 people INTERESTED and INVOLVED with each other over the long haul

at least in my world anyway :)

so true joyride

Generally, for men, i would say spark. For women, i would say comfort, i.e. security. Women rarely stay with charming men who don't provide security.

theres evolutionary psychology for ya :)

One saying that is so true is, everybody is different.
I have been comfortable with people, which means to me, free to be myself, and never been bored, co-dependent or complacent.
I know a lot of couples that have lost the initial spark after 15-20 years, I am included in that, but we loved our husbands, and had goals we were working toward. Raising kids, paying off the house, my hubby's stupid fish project, that I got really tired of. When the time came I was bored, I got me a job driving a school bus. That job was a hoot as I already knew all the kids.
We all were in it for the long haul and I guess leaving never entered our minds. I am right exactly where I want to be and I wouldn't change a thing. We weathered some hard times, but I'd do it all over again.
People, as I said, Joy are different and want different things. I used to spend all summer in the pond with the kids, and I was happy. I guess this was the place all the valley kids came to swim with the fishes.
There is no good and bad just different. The world would be pretty boring if everyone were exactly the same.

I need both, for than what's the point? They go together, and when one is missing, there is trouble. No spark, might as well be family right? No comfort, than it is always in turmoil.

I think you need both to have a good relationship.

Gem darlin

i wouldnt argue a but with you on that

which is why I added "at least it is in my world"

I want my partner to have an interesting life, thats what I meant by passion, that he follows his intrests in whatever his passion might be, fish project (ha! that I might hate too!) or real estate or animal husbandry (chuckling to myself right now), because that not only gives him a spark, a way to feel engaged and enjoying a lot of what life has to offer, but his passions make things more interesting for me too

and I'd like him to be interested in and curious about me, my experiences, my opinions etc

and I suspect thats different from what made my parents marriage successful

so I get we're different, with different needs

thank gawd we are, right?

:)

"wouldnt argue a BIT"

Joy,
I absolutely agree with you and I have always appreciated your wise advice on everything. You gotta bare in mind that I am 64 and I would say at this point pretty set in my ways.
I have no doubt you will find the perfect guy for you.
I did get the your world comment and I respect "your world"
I just wanted to tell "my world"
Oh my gosh, forgot your hug last time-----sorry

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

How about being a Rock Star JoyRide? Isn't that interesting enough for ya? :P

all very good comments and we all are different.

hahaha, Darius :)

you volunteering for the job??

((Gem)) youre 64, I just turned 50
maybe its ME that should be learning from YOU

:)

I am just saying I am full of spark. Although some people say I am full of something else. :P

I am sparklicious. LOL

Joy,
Your avatar fits what I think of you. Actually Rock star does sound pretty good. Whatever, I know you do it with all of your heart!!!!

I am definitely NOT the person to learn from. You are doing terrific on your own. WOW, I just can't believe you are that old. Of course, I am jealous as I wish I were that old!!!!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I cant believe I'm this old either
what happened???

Gem, one of my closest dearest friends is 63
I love her HUGE
she teaches me plenty !!

thanks for the kind words

darius I hear bad things about rockstars, and groupies are nice and everything but I dont share :)