It's been a real challenge since learning about my wife's affair.  We are still together, trying to be a success story.  If things don't work out, we can tell our daughter and our family and friends that we tried.  Through this process, I've been in pain, heart broken, insecure, lonely, etc.  You know.  But I've also done a few things that are helping:

- Talk to friends, but be present for them too
- Journal, but don't re-read them.  Don't keep reliving it.  Just release it.
- Exercise
- Self care (baths, stretching, healthy food)
- Stop thinking about the past and the future.  Focus on now.
- Listen to inspiring messages.  I've been listening to Joel Olsteen, and I'm not religious.  But his message is really helping.
- Choose to word things positive.  There are always 2 ways to say the same thing.
- Stop reading the news, it's so negative
- Do things that are way out of my comfort zone
- Volunteer, we can still help others.  We all experience pain and suffering.  Reach out.
- Communicate with my wife.  Create a safe space, where feelings are not decisions.  They are just feelings.
- Be present with my daughter.  It's not just about me.  It's about my daughter's experience too.
- Drink calming things like herbal tea or just hot water. I actually gave up coffee!  Trauma is so strong!
- Google success stories.  Find the words out there that support the solution.
- Breath.  Release whatever needs to be released with each breathe.  Every breathe is an opportunity.

It's hard.. yes.  These are some of the things that help me.  Please post things that help you.  It's not over.  We can get through these challenging times.  We are a community of strangers, posting our vulnerabilities to each other.   We can help each other.