Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I am really discouraged by the games that are played in the dating world. I am now finding a new one and I don't know how to take this.
Had a date with a girl. It went okay. We were supposed to go out again. In the mean time we have been calling and texting. Problem is that she will text, I will text, she will text, I will text....and then I don't hear from her for a long period of time.
The we were supposed to have a date one night. She ended up calling me and telling me that she wasn't feeling good but she didn't cancell. She said that she would lay down and call me later. I don't hear from her and she texts a day later and says that she fell asleep and slept for 12 hours.
I text her the other day after she texts me. Then silence......I figure that I won't contact her until she contacts me back. She contacts me last night at 1:20 am (no worries because I work during that time) and starts texting again. Again...a few texts and then she drops off the face of the earth.
Today we are texting and she has like 30 minutes between texts.
I am beginning to get really irritated with her. I really don't understand why this is going on and I am about ready to ask her what the heck?
Who knows...I am still keeping my options open and looking around at what is out there. Dating is worse than I remember it. I guess our ex's get one last kick in on us because none of us wanted to be where we are today.
Had a date with a girl. It went okay. We were supposed to go out again. In the mean time we have been calling and texting. Problem is that she will text, I will text, she will text, I will text....and then I don't hear from her for a long period of time.
The we were supposed to have a date one night. She ended up calling me and telling me that she wasn't feeling good but she didn't cancell. She said that she would lay down and call me later. I don't hear from her and she texts a day later and says that she fell asleep and slept for 12 hours.
I text her the other day after she texts me. Then silence......I figure that I won't contact her until she contacts me back. She contacts me last night at 1:20 am (no worries because I work during that time) and starts texting again. Again...a few texts and then she drops off the face of the earth.
Today we are texting and she has like 30 minutes between texts.
I am beginning to get really irritated with her. I really don't understand why this is going on and I am about ready to ask her what the heck?
Who knows...I am still keeping my options open and looking around at what is out there. Dating is worse than I remember it. I guess our ex's get one last kick in on us because none of us wanted to be where we are today.
It's entirely reasonable for her not to know whether she's interested or not at such an early point. I wouldn't push her to make a decision. It's too soon.
And as for her running hot and cold, well, what would you rather happen? She's not going to be texting you and calling you all the time. You guys are in an early stage. That's going to happen. You each have your own lives that you were living before you met each other. She shouldn't drop everything after you guys went out a time or two.
Give this some more time and give her some space, I say.
My complaint is that I will text a question and we are having a conversation via text and all the sudden nothing for a long period of time. Maybe it is just my mannors but I would text someone something and explain that I had to run or something came up. That is all.
You want to keep in touch, but if you were going to actually have a conversation, you'd call instead.
But it's also very possible and even likely that there are other reasons for her delay. Maybe she had something on the stove. Maybe she jumped in the shower before she got your question. Maybe her hair was on fire. I don't know. But with texting, the point is, you don't know. So I would opt for giving her the benefit of the doubt.
And Sandy's suggestion seems like a good one, to me. If she hasn't responded in a while, just shoot her a message saying, "Hey, maybe now's not a good time. Chat later when you're free." That way at least she'll know that you noticed her absence.
I'm all for it, personally.
One of my personal favorite text banter exchanges:
Me: "Mmmmmmm, boobies."
Her: "Get it right, Frank. They're tits, goddammit."
Look at it this way:
I ask you a question in face-to-face, direct conversation, or on the phone. You have to answer me, right there.
I send you a text, you can answer me when you are done loading the dishwasher, walking the dog. Meanwhile, am I going to infer that my question upset you, hurt you, etc.?
I HATE IT.
At the beginning I just think getting to no someone should be by conversation, not reading my phone.
But this wasn't one of those cases. We had been out a few times prior to that exchange, so you're right.