Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
This is mostly for the ladies, I guess, since it really only/mostly applies to them.
When you got divorced (or are in the middle of it now) did you decide to keep your name or go back to your maiden name? I've had the realization that it's another of those all-too-many things that I'm going to have to think about and reach a decision on. I don't have children, so that's not a consideration.
It's another of those things where I can see two sides. My name is part of who I am, part of my journey through life. I've just had a big part of myself, my identity forcibly taken from me and I find myself...angry? about the idea of giving up still more of myself.
On the other hand, maybe the name would just serve as a constant reminder of what I lost, of what was taken. I feel I'm too close to the event right now to really know how to feel about that aspect. Going back to my maiden name....ugh, yes I can see how it could feel like a fresh start. But it could also be seen as a....regression, a loss of progress.
I guess mostly right at the moment it feels like a huge, hopeless muddle and I was curious how other people resolved this.
When you got divorced (or are in the middle of it now) did you decide to keep your name or go back to your maiden name? I've had the realization that it's another of those all-too-many things that I'm going to have to think about and reach a decision on. I don't have children, so that's not a consideration.
It's another of those things where I can see two sides. My name is part of who I am, part of my journey through life. I've just had a big part of myself, my identity forcibly taken from me and I find myself...angry? about the idea of giving up still more of myself.
On the other hand, maybe the name would just serve as a constant reminder of what I lost, of what was taken. I feel I'm too close to the event right now to really know how to feel about that aspect. Going back to my maiden name....ugh, yes I can see how it could feel like a fresh start. But it could also be seen as a....regression, a loss of progress.
I guess mostly right at the moment it feels like a huge, hopeless muddle and I was curious how other people resolved this.
I think it's all in how YOU interpret it. What do you make it mean when you choose, or don't choose to change it? Something I think you are already chewing on.
I know a lot of divorced women keep the name for the sake of children. I'm not exactly sure what that means, except maybe my estrogen must be running out. Heh.
If we didn't have kids together, I would have changed it back to my maiden/ family name in a heart beat.
I just recommend you think about this man that you loved enough to marry. Every time you sign your name, are you going to think of him? It's all in how you are going to feel. But no matter what, you have to look at your divorce as a new beginning and God has something special in mind for you. Good Luck!!!
I have been divorced for 3 years and it doesn't bother me that I kept my married name becuz we don't run in the same circles even though we live in the same town. I don't sit and dwell on my last name and it is never brought up unless someone who is writing me a check asks for the spelling. I guess I've had this last name longer than my maiden name.
My name does not define me or make me who I am....but that is just me.
Everybody is different and what matters most is how it effects you.