Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
After her weeklong escapade with a supposed friend she called. We talked on skype for 3 hours. She now says I misunderstood her. She said she never said she was going away for a week with a man. She said she was going to go out with him and then take a week off. I could have misunderstood her. I have a tendency to think the worse. But I have her email message and it says It is time I think of myself and be happy. I accepted an invitation. I am asking for a one week leave at work and I am going away next week with a friend. Was my interpretation wrong or did she change her mind and now she is trying to fix it? She says she ended up spending the week with her mother 20 minutes away from my home!!! She lives 3000 miles away from me. She said she cried all week and again blames me for not calling her. I did not call because I thought she was with another man and because she had told me in a text message that she had nothing to talk about after I suggested we talked when we were both calm. She blames me for not calling her anyway, for not fighting for her. For accepting what she said. During the conversation we had our good moments when she said she loved me and sent me kisses and smiles but then switched to hate mode for a long time, reading the usual list of complaints about me. During that time of the conversation she was very manipulative and impossible to reason with. This happens often. She said our love was impossible. We live to far away and have different lives. But then she said her love for me will never change. I am so confused. I told her I loved her and that she was very important to me. She is willing to stay as friends and call each other. But she insisted that the misunderstanding was too big and had messed up everything. She does not want me back. But at the same time she said that her love for me will never change. I am so confused and tired. I have a feeling that she is very complicated.
And you, you sound like you need to slap yourself in the face and chill out because you're losing it.
The above line may sound harsh, and it is, but... You really need to cool down and take some time out, like she did. IMO, you both need to take a month (at least) away from each other and have NO contact. Go into the mountains or something, ride a horse on a ranch, go on a boat trip, play some golf.. anything to get away from this bullshit you have got yourself caught up in and to relax your mind.
From what i can see in your posts, she is VERY uncertain about a lot of things, and seems unreasonable at times and definitely in need of some time away, and you are obsessed by her. That situation is absolutely no good and will never get any better. It will linger on and get worse. Go on a road trip and drive route 66. Watch a sunset... Fuck that sounds awesome.
If you can settle your mind, put things into perspective and calm down, things will appear a lot rosier.
Look at the stars dude.... we're nothing, she's nothing... see the bigger picture and live your life!
I must admit though, i will miss you and your posts... even if you do never respond directly! But hey, keep going bro.
Peace x
She blamed you for not running after her? Sound like she thinks she's Scartlet O'Hara or something. If you put up with this (I'm leaving to see if he will chase me = he cares) senario then it will just happen over and over until you can't stand it anymore and blow up. I don't think this is healthy.
She has something to hide.
Since she said that she does not want you back. It's time to let her go and put this relationship behind you. People who says things like: "I will always love you and my feelings for you will never change," are trying to let someone down easy. Please see this for what it is. She wants a break-up, plain and simple.
As for her expecting you to chase her, I think that was unrealistic on her part. In her text, she said said you guys had nothing to talk about, after you suggested you talk guys have a talk after the cooling off period. How does one come to the conclusion that she really meant you were supposed to call or contact her during your cooling off period? How were you supposed to know she was crying that whole time? You can't read her mind?
Also, it bothers me she was only 20 minutes away from you, while visiting her mother (when normally she is 3000 miles away). How were you supposed to know, she was so close by? Why didn't she try and get a hold of you, if she was crying this whole time? Makes no sense.
Let her go. What I'm reading is that she is blowing you off.
Good luck, and go on with your life. You will find someone to love, if that is your desire.
I hope from here you can find the strength within you to have No contact with her and give her a chance to see how her life would really be without you. To me that sounds like what would be best for you at this time. Sorry for all you are feeling. I know its hard!
Save your dignity at this point, do NOT chase her, do not send sonnets of your undying declarations of love.
:)
I think it's good she lives 3000 miles away.. That will make it easier to move on.. You seem like a good guy and I think she's taking advantage of that right now. Break free is my advice
Bottom line is she seems very unhappy and very conflicted and you don't need this drama.
Think it's time to let her go.
ask yourself why you pick women who are long shots. you never had a chance with this one.