I don't miss the screaming fits and name calling every day for hours. Honestly I don't miss a damn thing about my Ex-wife. I guess that is sad to say and maybe if my divorce wasn't so long ago I would be singing a different toon. Ending that relationship was the BEST thing I ever did and I and my boys are so much happier and mentally/emotionally better off.

I was always blamed for everything and 99% of the time I had nothing to do with it. Her abuse ran ramped in my home. The drama poored out of everything I for one am so glad that is over and my children don't have to suffer with it anymore.

My STBX also blames me for everything, even if I'm not remotely connected. Even if she doesn't directly blame me, she takes out her anger on me. I become her punching bag for her frustrations and anger.

When she's not blaming me for everything, she's gaslighting me into believing that I'm not a good husband, provider, protector or father. She brings up things from ten years or more in the past, and manipulates the facts. She brings up opinions, or her thoughts of what their opinions would be, from neighbors or her family to try to make me believe that my opinions are very flawed.

I'm not going to miss her pessimism. Nothing is ever good enough for her.

The good thing is that I've come to realize her pessimism, her gaslighting, her blaming and her anger. I see them as what they are and I can ignore them and walk away.

such a clever post... I finally ended a 5 year relationship that I've wavered about for years because he's not a bad guy...it's never been black and white for me but I have just had a knowingness that it wasn't meant to be... I feel at peace about it for the most part but, have moments when I wonder if I'd have tried harder could it have worked... but this post reminds me that I won't miss his passive aggressive comments, his smothering, clingy behaviour, his neediness and his judgement...

Bitching, screaming, lying, stealing, bounced checks, unpaid credit cards, being drunk all the time. And after only 10 weeks her in general.

She gave up a home for an apartment. She gave up a husband with intelligence, creativity and drive for a drunk on disability. She gave up her daughter for a bottle of Vodka.

So what won't I miss - just about everything.

I wont miss raising another child.. all financial obligations were on me, who paid the bills? me.. who was consulted for every fucking purchase? ME.. was this a choice? NO.. he had zero ability to manage money.. and it was exhausting. He never thought things through, he was impulsive in the worst way.. right down to his cheating bitch of a girlfriend, and throwing away our 14 year relationship/marriage and family.

18 months later - no more fights, no more arguments, no more putting up with his bs.. hind sight is 20/20, god it feels great to see again!! :)

I won't miss watching her blow money like crazy. I also won't miss having to go out to eat, or to parties with her business acquaintances all the time.

Haha funny topic! Covering her damn insufficient funds every month for starters. She's been gone 2 years now and believe me it's sooo much better. My utility bills are cut in half. My daughter and I allow the dogs to be part of the family and not kenneled or ushered outside because of her cleanliness OCD ..at night we each get a dog and the cat goes where she wants lol! Once you get clarity after some time you appreciate being single...I'm in no rush to have anyone mess with my serenity :)

What I won't miss is more my response to her: the desperate continual effort to keep her happy and loving me. Second-guessing, doubting, and insecurity resulting from her disdain, contempt and web of deception but most of all I won't miss the reminder of her betrayal to me and our children.

him

there honestly nothing about him that I miss

I don't miss the alcoholic rampage. The verbal and emotional abuse. I don't miss walking on eggshells in my own damn home. I don't miss having to worry if certain things aren't done at a certain time. I don't miss having to worry if the kids are being too loud or needy. I don't miss being controlled by a asshole who thinks everyone on this planet is here for him and we should all bow to him because he wears a badge. I never thought it was true, you know how police officers treat everyone like they are a bad person, because it is all they deal with. I have seen it with my own two eyes, its true. I have lived it for over 10 years...I sure as hell don't miss that.

I won't miss always walking on eggshells around him, having to hide my purse every single day so he won't quietly remove my credit cards and money when he's mad at me, being made to feel like a leech in a marriage where I have to buy my clothes at Goodwill while he shops at Ralph Lauren, being blamed for everything that goes wrong in his life, having zero support ever, the joy sucking feeling I get every time he comes home and his constant unending disrespect.

Having to listen to his negative gossip about everyone we know at the dinner table in front of the kids. He was "brilliant" (sarcasm). Everyone else was stupid. And what great feats had this lazy, self-absorbed, cheater obtained? -- nothing. Not a damn thing. Because all he ever did was sit back and criticize others. Didn't leave any time to DO anything...

Oh, and I won't miss him texting all thru dinner while I tried to connect with him... of course later realize he was texting GF..

Every damn thing.

The day he was arrested was the happiest day of my life. I'm free!

I won't/don't miss:
-being woken up in the middle of the night by an angry drunk coming home
-having to tiptoe around the home & not even being able to shower until after 11am while he was sleeping it off
-not being allowed to go anywhere on my own
-having someone else control my schedule
-having every person I try to make friends with get shot down
-being told I'm a burden
-being threatened with abandonment
-being threatened with physical violence & constantly being told "I want to smash you"
-being in the passenger seat while he drove recklessly in order to scare me & then having him get angry if I showed any sign of fear, including holding onto the armrest to stabilize myself
-never having eye contact made with me
-being refused sex
-making dinner, which was expected, but then no one would come home to eat it
-comments about what I'm eating & if I should be having that
-being lied to about things big & small
-being told he wasn't allowed to bring a guest to parties he was attending (official events etc) & then finding out, pretty much every time, that it wasn't true
-his crushes on other women, I don't know how far they went
-the smell of pot coming off him every single day, the smell of pot in my home at all
-being sworn at & put down.

ugh, I could go on forever. Maybe I should have tried a list of what I WILL miss. Would have been shorter. I don't even know what would go on it...which is why I can't figure out why the struggle to let go is so hard.