welcome to your future

There is no right way to do this. Each person heals in different ways. Please like Matt said never be afraid to ask for help and to show your sadness. We have all been where you are now. The reason we are still here is because we want to give back some of the help and support that we were given. You are not alone.

Welcome to DS, I hope you remembered to bring your sense of humor, you're gonna need it and it will help you heal.

My message to the new person on this board would be...'Welcome here. You are probably feeling like crap right now...hopefully not, though. Everyone here is going through some bullshit. Feel free to tell your story and help other people!"

share as much as you feel you need to, everyone here will give you honesty even if that is not the most popular response. We have been where you are and sometimes you just need to hear that!

We will help you pick yourself up from the ground, we will give you kindness, understanding, tough love, soft love, a laugh, anger....we will watch you and aide you through your stages BUT we want you to REACH FROM WITHIN and see your splendor and find the FIGHT because you are so worth it. If you are a parent, you are an example....we will help you MARCH, MARCH, MARCH!

No matter what you are going through or why, it is important to always be gentle with yourself. Try not to beat yourself up with questions of self-worth, pride and 'what ifs'. Afford yourself all the same courtesy and comfort that you would to someone else walking in your shoes. Try to handle each situation on an individual basis so you don't end up feeling overwhelmed. Be open with your situation and really listen to what advice is given. If you have advice to offer, share. Finally, do not forget to give yourself permission to find happiness again.

Some nights, this site has been my lifeline. He's been gone 7 months now, and most days it still feels like yesterday. I still can't believe he blindsided me. I mean I knew the last year together wasn't great, but we had a good marriage, good family. We loved each other so much. I've never in my life felt loved like that from anyone. He is still good to us. I just don't understand most of the time.

Its a rollercoaster, but time, God and good friends can help you heal.

Come here to cry, to laugh, to share, to allow yourself to feel the pain. Do not be ashamed of any of it. Many have gone before, more will come after. You can recover.

Use your journal.

I would really love for every newcomer to read the Manual that we put together, along with all the ones that Z post and the steps to grieving by Oestonee. These few threads give us an idea of what to expect, of what emotions, we are going to feel, and what we need to do for self preservation. Hugs, Kimmee

The manual is here

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/2816539-manual

I would tell newcomers to know that no matter where they are on the spectrum of emotions, it is all normal.. I thought I was going crazy in the beginning but DS helped me to realize that it truly is a process that each goes through in their own way.. some are the silent type but are still grieving, others, like myself prefer to kick & scream the entire time. Just know that all you are feeling will eventually settle down & there is life after divorce. :)

"Everything will be ok. It may feel like death right now, but it goes away. I PROMISE. Be prepared to laugh, cry, argue, and make friends here. We are all a huge family with so much support to offer. Stick around and prepare yourself for the healing that will be taking place."

If you have loved deeply, you will hurt deeply, and as with deep water it just doesn't dry up over night.....so give yourself TIME , it takes TIME to heal.......

and just maybe.......when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

my neice's boyfriend wants "space", my advice, NO CONTACT. she is not listening to her aunt, but eveyone has to handle it their own way. for me, no contact was what finally got me on my way to healing. i just couldn't take the rejection from those phone calls anymore. another thing, being here on ds, you are not alone. we know what your going through, we know your pain, we know the emotional roller coaster your on. and a lot of us know now, with time, i promise, it will get better. xoxoxoxoxox