Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hey guys... Im 26 years old, and a single mom to a wonderful 6 year old boy. Last year in February I began dating a man the same age as me. I had recently broken up with someone that I had been dating for over a year, and was living alone. This guy, we will call him B, was very quick to be interested in a committed relationship with me. He had no issue with me having a child, or working full time. B started showing some red flags about 3 months into the relationship. He did have a bit of a temper, not in a violent way, but he would easily lose his head over stupid things. Long story short, he spent the majority of this time at my place, and an argument that happened via text caused him to pack up the things he had at my place and leave, declairing he never wanted to hear from me again. I was devestated. I wish it ended there, but it doesnt. We reconciled that issue, only for our relationship to continue for about a month shy of a year, and this same thing happening two more times. There were a lot of wishy-washy tendencies, he would go back and forth about whether or not he wanted to be in a relationship at all, and yet insisted that he was insanely in love with me.... well, a month ago, just a few days before he, my son, and i were to move into a new apartment, i came home to all of his things gone, his key, and my half of the deposit we had put down on the new place. he had blocked my number, and blocked me from facebook with no explanation. Devastated doesnt even fit the feeling i felt. My son and i were 10 days shy of being homeless, and the relationship that i have struggled to maintain was just gone in a blink of an eye. It honestly felt like he had died... A week later, he comes back and says he NEVER SHOULD have done all these things!!!!!! Now he is in therapy, and doing the whole "healing myself for the greater good" thing. And im just angry........ I dont even feel like I love him anymore. I dont know what is wrong with me. Shouldnt I be thrilled that he is getting help? Im more offended that he is getting help NOW. I dont personally feel like I can trust anyone else, let alone him. Im so mad that he had to take it as far as he did... and then try and come back? And if i was so hurt, why didnt i take him back when he came back? What is wrong with me?
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My husband and I got our foster license last month, after 3 years of hard work (we had to start over multiple times due to family dramas and Mom's open heart surgery). We spent a year preparing the whole house, guest rooms, and children's bathroom for older kids of 7 yr old and up. Then we got a call that we have been approved to receive twin newborn premies. What, what?!! Babies!? Premies?!...
Therapy is good for him, but it's going to take at LEAST a year for him to get his life put together. For now it's probably better for both of you to be alone.
If that's the case it's probably with him for life and gets worse with stress
Stress being work and relationships
Poor him because you might have pushed his buttons or his condition just over whelmed him and he went away insane recovered his sanity and came back
Or maybe he's just a dickhead, ?
I so completely would have no love left for him after him breaking it repeatedly. It's like putting your hand on the fire. The heart fears that which causes pain.
That's why traumatised people find it so hard to connect to others. Trust that they won't be harmed is a big thing
But to be honest I also so get why you had him back, personal reasons would be because that solves the homelessness problem and the devastation of losing him immediately. Making things so much easier inside to cope with. Attachment means we often out up with arseholes longer than common sense dictates.
Realise your difficult situation and problem solve how your going to wean off him and kick him out
Id be tempted to find the next guy, as soon as you find someone else to date ditch him.
To be vengeful let him go to work one day, with your shared bank account closed and all the money in your pocket with your locks changed
See how he fcking likes it! Perhaps he'll that knowing him suxs and have insight into what his problems are
If not just for yourself, do it for your child so that he/she doesn’t have to grow up with this mess of a person.
You say, "Shouldn't I be thrilled..." No, nobody gets to tell you how you "should" feel. His disappearing act was totally selfish. Of course you don't trust him, and just because he's in therapy (which is great, he's finally admitting he needs help), doesn't mean he is instantly going to change into someone you can trust.
I think the best example you can set for your child, is stand your ground and don't let this guy back into your life after how he treated you. I hope you are in a new place now.