Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
What is it in your EX that makes you think he/she is so great? that you will never find anyone like that again? and you just can't let go?
Here is my situation:
After the break-up, I thought: Oh my God, how would I find someone else who would be as great as him? He was the only one. He was the one of the kind. He was so special...
And after almost a year, I look back and wonder: What is it so great about him that made me think he was so special? And I come up with the following:
- He was incredibly handsome and attractive.
- He had a good fashion style.
- He understood my culture in depth and really liked it (he's French). And I understood his (I did my master in France).
- Sex was so wild and crazy.
- He's not a rich man, but determined in building his career. He knew what he wanted and which goals he must achieve at different periods.
That's all.
Then I think: all those characteristics, I can find in plenty other men. He's not the one of the kind. Here I don't mention his bad characteristics yet.
Now I'm laughing at myself, in a good way, and glad that I've made such a long progress within a short time. I can even make joke of myself now and still feel good about it. And I'm still surprised when I summarize all what I've learned from DS:
- Never make someone priority when he/she only consider you as an option.
- No contact is the best way for self-recover then moving on.
- If the EX is a kind of manipulative person. The pain may become greater because we lose our self-esteem when being manipulated. The manipulators are always too selfish to understand how we feel, what we think, no matter how hard we try to tell them.
- The pain is a roller coaster. Some days we feel good. Some days we feel bad. When we feel bad, just take it one day at a time, and believe that the roller coaster to go up again.
Someone told me: Never cry in front of a man. Because the man who really loves you will never make you cry.
And you, what is your story?
Here is my situation:
After the break-up, I thought: Oh my God, how would I find someone else who would be as great as him? He was the only one. He was the one of the kind. He was so special...
And after almost a year, I look back and wonder: What is it so great about him that made me think he was so special? And I come up with the following:
- He was incredibly handsome and attractive.
- He had a good fashion style.
- He understood my culture in depth and really liked it (he's French). And I understood his (I did my master in France).
- Sex was so wild and crazy.
- He's not a rich man, but determined in building his career. He knew what he wanted and which goals he must achieve at different periods.
That's all.
Then I think: all those characteristics, I can find in plenty other men. He's not the one of the kind. Here I don't mention his bad characteristics yet.
Now I'm laughing at myself, in a good way, and glad that I've made such a long progress within a short time. I can even make joke of myself now and still feel good about it. And I'm still surprised when I summarize all what I've learned from DS:
- Never make someone priority when he/she only consider you as an option.
- No contact is the best way for self-recover then moving on.
- If the EX is a kind of manipulative person. The pain may become greater because we lose our self-esteem when being manipulated. The manipulators are always too selfish to understand how we feel, what we think, no matter how hard we try to tell them.
- The pain is a roller coaster. Some days we feel good. Some days we feel bad. When we feel bad, just take it one day at a time, and believe that the roller coaster to go up again.
Someone told me: Never cry in front of a man. Because the man who really loves you will never make you cry.
And you, what is your story?
That being said, I think he is an all-around nice guy. Yes, he cheated, but I'm over it. He has the potential to make someone happy...as long as he stops being married to his work and extracurriculars.
The biggest thing we had in common was our senses of humor, and we still have that. I think he's a good guy, I'm just glad I don't have to claim him.
Fighting for a relationship with a loser is an uphill battle that most often will not be won. Because in the end, the loser will blame you anyway.....cuz they aren't capable of seeing that THEY are the problem....a loser!