I've learned that anyone can run from adversity. And, we have to be able to go on without them.

I learned not to hold back the conversation to protect the others feelings. I will say what I feel needs to be said in a honest, tactful and loving way but I will say it.

I learned what a sociopath is, and how I can't change anything about him, or expect any empathy, regret or conscience.

I learned not to talk about everything, to make my expectations made known once, mention it again if they are not being met, and then decide if it's worth sticking around.

I learned words are easy, actions mean everything.

I learned trying to convince someone to treat you well, who doesn't want to, is like asking someone to love you, who doesn't.

I learned life is much shorter now, there's no time to screw around, better to cut my losses quickly and move on.


holy crow, those still sound pretty cynical for someone who feels so happy the last half a year.

Ive learned too to keep my individuality,and not be dependant on him for everything.I have also learned that I am going to have to learn to trust,in a relationship,but they have to earn that too. I will not be anothers punching bag.I will not leap into something too fast again,I will take the time.effort to learn more about the individual before i commit.

I learned.....

That I will NOT just let things go. That I have to stand up for myself, even if it does mean to 'have a fight'.

I learned that I am NOT responsible for someone elses happiness.

I'll maintain my independence. I'll never let myself get so reliant on another person sticking around that my entire life and livelihood is tied up around theirs. I'll confront instead of retreating. And I'll never let myself get so hung up on one person's approval or disapproval again.

I learned that I don't need to compromise my boundaries. I learned that a person deserves to be forgiven only once. If they f*k up a second time, I'm out.

With me several things

Cant have parents ( never get along with gf/wives parents )
Cant have a dog ( not a dog/anamal lover )
Cant visit her mom more then 2 times a week ( if by chance I never meet them )
Cant smoke ( unless she has really big life ins policy )
Has to like sex 4 times a week ( or more )

I like what you posted shantellew. My fiance just suddenly left me and my kids this week, and I have been divorced previously after 14 yrs of marriage.
I'm glad during this relationship with my ex fiance that I had already learned (1) do not mix bank accounts, (2) have his name on everything that is joint, such as the lease (3) have your own vehicle.

I have learned I will never compromise my happiness or lower my standards again. I have a voice and I will speak up for myself.

I have learned to look at the date of these posts LOL - Just responded to one from 08! Silly me.

I have also learned that I have TO learn to find my happiness again. I will.

I learned that I am not responsible for him cheating. He did that on his own.

Hmmm... tough one... I guess my main thing is I can't ever allow myself to become dependent on someone (in particular financially), nor do I think I can ever live with someone. I have to have my own space own place. Will not put up with nagging. My ex-H had OCD tendencies... especially about cleanliness and pointed out everything I ever did wrong. I'd love to find someone for a LTR, but I cannot will not ever get married again. I like my independence.

I learned to keep God #1...dont give my heart away so fast, take things slow, take my time to say "i love u", follow and fight against my instincts especially wen I have proof, dnt allow myself to b stepped upon. pay close attention to his wrds..never show him how much he has me, for a while. Meet his frnds & family.

I learned that I can't depend on anyone but myself, and to never be so foolish as to give someone complete trust. I also learned to put myself first (still working on putting these lessons in action...)

In the future, I hope I will leave a relationship at the first red flag.

hi utterpain :)