We all say and do things we regret when we are under the pressure of a bad marriage, separation or divorce. If brings the very worst out of a person, and you are only human.

I've been talking to a mentor who is divorced (after being separated in my situation for 2.5 years). She didn't end up getting any money. She decided to look on the bright side of that--no ties to him, no having to think about him. I know you are a strong woman and can forge ahead with or without his help.

The money thing is just a pain. but it wasn't stbx that im worried about. I think I screwed up what could have been a great friendship. ugh. anyway.... im an idiot!

furbabymom

You are not an idiot. A good friend will forgive a mistake. And there are plenty of people, even on this site, who will support you. Helping someone else is what life is all about. I know you may feel you have given all you can give . . . I feel that way a lot. Like no good deed goes unpunished. Once the divorce is final you will feel much better, or at least I did. I embarrass myself too and so does everyone else. Keep posting and give yourself a break.

they weren't a good friend "yet" but made me laugh. showed me a could be happy again. and I blew it. Matter what... my fault

Wait, so you made a new friend recently then said something you feel was stupid? And now you think the new person doesn't want to know you, or you're too embarrassed to see them again?

You're not an idiot, by any means. If this person thinks less of you for something you did or said, don't worry. It's not like you lost an old friend - think of it as just a missed opportunity. Another one will come along.

If there is a chance you could talk to this person, and explain your actions or words, you might want to give that a try. If only to clear your feelings, or maybe things can move forward from there

Beating yourself up over something you did or said in the past is a huge waste of time and energy, It is already done.
If this person is to be a friend, they will realize the stress you are under and definitely not hold it against you.
Please talk to this person again to see how he/she feels. You have nothing to lose.

It may have been something like a teen would do and it may not have been. I think when we get out of these relationship, we judge ourselves harshly. Every movement, or word we say, we judge and analyze and beat ourselves up over.

I am hoping your new friend isn't shallow and lets this "thing" override any friendship in the future. But if they do, then that just shows you who should and shouldn't be your friend or beyond.

So just be you, regardless cus you know what, you smiled and laughed. Who cares beyond that!

It is okay to make mistakes when you are under so much pressure. I think that we all can attest to doing and saying the wrong things when were under the strain of this process. All you can do is explain to your friend why you said what you did. If they are worth having a friendship with, the person will understand. If he or she doesn't, it probably wouldn't be a friendship that you would want to be in anyway. Stress drains energy and when your energy is drained, it is easy to say the wrong thing.

Hugs!

I know for myself, when I do something stupid, I let it go too far in my head and I end up putting the label of stupid on me, instead of keeping it on my act. I blew it recently and blew up at my attorney, but I apologized and he was fine in the end.

And who on earth ever gave you the idea it's ok to laugh while you're having to deal with all of this? Tisk tisk! You should be ashamed of yourself. Do we have to send you to your room? LOL

You should laugh once in a while. My prayer is you will laugh more. Hey, I actually smiled yesterday! My son almost fainted when I did!

I know the surprise of unknown credit and bills. My divorce is in a "no fault" state, but everything is "supposed" to be split 50-50, even bills. My ex is trying to get me to pay half of her credit accounts. My attorney sent me a list of the creditors and there were two, with BIG balances, like $20k each that I did not even know about. Hmmm... I can only wonder if she's been partying big time with that handsome prince she traded me in for. My attorney is demanding that all the statements from all those accounts be made visible before there will be any decision.

I apologize, that was ME venting. :) You're not stupid! You're smart. And the world IS going to find out that you are smart in due time. Remember, God works things out in "due time," and in the short term, his grace will get you through. And us here on DS will get you through too. :)

thank you everyone! It certainly does feel nice to be validated. I appreciate u all so much. You're a blessing. Each and everyone of you! Thank you!

Just an aside, John, seriously what is up with that cat? That smile is kinda freaking me out, and I'm a crazy cat lady!

I like the cat! I think he's kinda cool!

Jojo i just really looked at it and he is
Just A really cool cat :)

Hugs