Perhaps he is put off by your self-admitted neediness (not trying to be mean, just something to consider). Perhaps give him a little space. If you've only been seeing him a couple of months, maybe he's not as serious about the relationship as you are.

Talk to him--perhaps a compromise can be found.

Just wondering... have you told him how you feel. Better still if you want to talk to him more often why don't you simply pick up the phone and call him. Seems to me that sometimes the solution to some problems is to go the simplest and most direct route.

If someone didn't want to call me every day, at least to say hi, tell me about his day, or tell me goodnight, I wouldn't think he liked me very much! And it wouldn't be about me being needy--it would be about him not being that into me! Everybody wants to talk to the people they like!

Birk,
thanks for your candidness. I'm wondering that too, but he is trying to see me everyday, but since he lives half an hour away and with my schedule with my kids in the evenings, it's not possible, or easy i should say. So I'm thinking why not call then? Yes, I usually end up callig him more often. Could it be that men (at least this one) prefer to SEE instead of just TALK?

Lee

It doesn't mean anything more than he's not as into you as you are into him.

That's not fatal, though.

Lee, I can't speak for everyone, of course, but I'd almost ALWAYS rather see a woman than talk to her on the phone. I'm not a fan of talking on the phone.

I've known guys who just didn't like to talk on the phone. Rather talk in person. There could be lots of innocuous reasons for him not calling every day.

ok Lee

if you got really quiet, dark room, deep breathing, whatever, got really calm, eyes closed.

and asked him, in your mind, what is going on with you?

what answer do you get?

just curious.

are you annoyed with his dating style or sensing an undercurrent of a pullback?

All i can say is to perhaps take this time to keep a journal, nurture yourself... I'd say more, but not-so-great on taking my own advice just yet.


It's hard to tell from here what it means.

I wouldn't like it either.

Do you have kiddos? Homework/activities/dinner/bedtime can be intense. The time change was killer - we aren't quite over it yet at my place.

It can be hard to find a sane time to talk. if you are trying to have a cool conversation you hate to pepper it with 'IF you put that NAIL POLISH on the dog you will NOT live to see 4th grade!" etc etc... sorta kills the mood.

He knows my hours after I put the kids to bed, I can talk. Hardly ever been interrupted by them getting up.

It just sux not having a job, I'm sure he's afraid I'm just looking for someone to take care of me. I have always been modest when we go out, don't order the lobster! and offered to pay at some point of our relationship. After 3 months now, I got a call for an interview for the first time! And he didn't call tonite for me to tell him the news... pooh.


Lee

he is just busy, nothing personal. the relationship is still new... shouldn't worry about it unless he stops calling for weeks.. then I would be concerned...

I don't know....I'm impacted by my current relationship, I'm sure, but I feel like I want someone to be excited enough about me to WANT to call, even if you have to occasionally say, "I've gotta' go, the kids are painting the dog green!" If you are not happy with the relationship like this now, I suspect you will not be happy with it later as well. This is probably about as excited about you as he's going to get. And I can't handle being more into a guy than he is into me. I've spent more than ten years like that, and it stinks!

Me too, Birk. He just told me today I am turning out to be a really fun girl! How wonderful! Isn't that just totally awesome?Blah! I think u'r right, if this is as excited as he's going to get about me, this is it. To tell the truth, he's the first guy i've dated since my divorce a year ago so I've been wondering myself is he just the first guy to come along worth getting to know? Love hurts...


Lee

Maybe he's being cautious, as he may have been trampled in his last relationship. I would talk to HIM about it. Sounds like if you cannot bring this to his attention, you are already on shaky ground. Communication is key, especially from the start of any relationship.

I'm sorry Lee....I can't imagine what dating again will be like if I get a divorce! Do you REALLY like him? Don't just take him because he's the first one who came along. You're pretty and I'm sure there are lots of other guys who would love to get to know you! Gee this is hard. Ugh. I don't want to think about dating. I don't want ANOTHER bad relationship! Good luck, Sweetie!

I don't think wanting to talk once a day is needy at this point. I just started calling my bf everyday at the same time after a few months. I asked him if that bothered him and he said no.

We talk for about ten minutes that's all.

I think it means he isn't madly in love with you. If he were he would want to know how your day went, wouldn't he?