Your wife seems like such a conniving bitch. I wouldn't go out of my way to do anything. If the lawyers grant it then fine otherwise I wouldn't do it.

When the kids are with you, you decide if and when the cell phones are on (so as not to interfere with dinner time, movie watching, ect.) She has no right to walk through your home - she sounds like a wacko control freak. Put your foot down now or it will never end.

Just to clarify, I was basing my advice on your previous posts too.

Tell her to piss off. Its your place. They are your children. You would not be living in a pig sty. My STBX is not allowed in te house without my permission and she has respected that as far as I know.

She has a lot of nerve.

I'd tell her to go and pound sand. Like another poster said, take some digital pics and e-mail them to her.

No way should she be allowed to set foot in your place and I wouldn't send her pictures either. The courts aren't going to go along with this either. Just tell her you find that unacceptable and leave it at that.

I will talk to my lawyer tomorrow. I will tell my lawyer she can have a friend of hers look at the place and only the friend nobody else.

well as a mother to be, I will be demanding to see where he is living if we do in fact divorce. But I have a reason for this: he has a drug addiction and I need to see that he doesn't have crap all over the house. Also, when he is using, he is a HORRIBLE house cleaner and I would not want my kid in that. But the only reason I feel this way is through his own actions. If this were not an issue, I would care less.
I want you to be careful because of the RO, she could so screw you with that. I would keep that e mail for sure!

Your wife sounds like my ex. You response sounds like mine did...really effing pissed. But you know what? you have nothing tohide and ot is reasonable for her to see where her children will be living so that she feels assured of their reasonable safety.

When I finally conceded to allowing my ex to walk through the the apartment, which in and of iteself is a total slap in the kisser because it suggestive that you would not care properly for the children, and the lawyers are just poking her with a sharp stick so that she feels like she has the upper hand and is getting her money's worth, because after all, a father can't possibly care for his children like a mother can, can he?

Let her do it, take the path of least resistance. You are being the bigger person and it will mean nothing in relation to your relationship with your children. If you just agree to this petty crap, it will take all the wind out of her sails and that has its own rewards.

I know how hard it is, believe me. Let all that crap go. If it isn't costing youmoney, or ruining the relationship to the children...it doesn't matter.

I do not agree with all the resistance people espouse on the thread. I respect their choices, I just don't see a path to healing through all the animous and resistance, especially with something as trivial in the scheme of things.

Love the children, they are what truly matters...and your healing.

Holy cow! That immediately got me worked up and I don't even know this person. I can imagine you are raging mad. I agree with those asking you to be the bigger person. Remember the best revenge is being happy and living well. If you can't handle giving in to her demands, I wouldn't have a friend of hers do the walk through. I'd ask the court to appoint a social worker to do the walk through.

Well, all I can do is lend my voice to the chorus of 'WTF' and 'NO way in hell.' It's one thing to ask you to 'walk through' so that you can have her control freak seal of approval, but to ask you to sit and wait in the car. WHAT NERVE! I agree; get your attorney's opinion, and second the suggestion of a 3rd party. Good luck with that one; sounds like you've got a long co-parenting road ahead of you.

why the hell should she be allowed even 1 min alone in your space?... screw that.. tell her your staying in the apartment and if she is sooo worried about the restraining order, bring one of New Jersey's finest with her.. OMG I cant believe she even suggested that..

A couple of suggestions........

1.) I would fill the apartment with books, magazines, and DVDs on being an exceptional parent. Place them everywhere, out in plain sight. Make sure every room has the appearance of you being about 3/4 of the way through all of them.

2.) I would dig out all of your pictures of your ex, your wedding, you, her, and your children, and hang as many as you can proudly on the walls - again in as many rooms as possible, displayed proudly for all to see. Make the place a tasteful shrine to your children and your former spouse.

Following steps 1 and 2 should make her five (5) minute tour something to look forward to.

My $0.02

Good luck and remember, no hating. Take deep breaths and get those pictures on the walls, mister.

Oh... do not leave her alone in your home. She may plant a camera to spy. Why does she have the RO? She appears to be manipulative and is using the kids. Stay strong and for the kids sake, remain civil.

Good Luck!