Time is a great healer. It worked for me. Also, putting my hurting self first and validating that the pain is real but that this is a learning process for future disappointments, realizing that life does have its ups and downs for all of us, and I'm not alone. Seeking the companionship of others going through this process is a tremendous help. Will keep you in my thoughts.

It has only been 2 months since my divorce was final. Some days are good, some are bad. I'm wondering the same thing as you. I have to consciously make myself focus on the good things in my life and try to keep my thoughts off of him. It's not easy.

Ceremonies have a big part to play in our societies. Maybe you could google separation or divorce ceremonies or invent a meaningful one of your own. It may sound silly but I have heard it can be very effective.

I'd like to know how you do get closure when you never got any answers to what the heck happened! Going on 22 months since divorce and still don't have any closure as he would never answer any questions......

the guy I was seeing for 4 years just left to florida with his lady friend I knew he was living with someone else I accepted it because he lied to me from the beginning the last time I heard from him was on facebook he said no phones in florida yeah right. Not even a call no text no e-mail no nothing after 4 years of sleeping with him I saw him once a week and he called me at 3 times a day for 4 years now nothing no clousure for me so I am not getting any closure I have to valium to fall asleep and see a therapist twice a week because I Loved him even thought I knew about the other women now he is in florida surrounded by family and friends and his dog and do you know what I have I have heartache and agony just me and my dog and my dog and a few friends so my dear I hope you get closure because I will never got mine, god bless

ahhh closure, I don't know that anything ever really brings closure, just acceptance of what the situation is.
I hope you find some peace.

While I haven't reached full closure from him, I gained partial closure when I learned to take ownership of my role in the relationship and forgive MYSELF for whatever it was I felt I did wrong to deserve him breaking up with me. Life got a little easier for me once I was able to do this.

While the circumstances surrounding our breakup were not drastic/overly dramatic and I may never get closure from him...that is something I just need to learn to accept. I am also trying my hardest to forgive him for his wrongdoings as well because being bitter doesn't make me feel any better or help me move forward. It just keeps me stuck in the past.

I had to provide my own closure, since my STBX also didn't answer questions--or just chose to give lame answers to one or two questions.
Life is about ups and downs--and without the downs, the ups wouldn't be so good or so memorable.
Know that you will be better off without the other person, and let that be your closure, as it has been mine. Believe in yourself. Trust in yourself.

Closure takes TIME and moving on every day with new adventures with new people or fantastic old friends. There is no easy way to shut down our feelings of pain; and since the opposite is pure joy...don't try! Just be very gentle with yourself and the process, take each new day as it comes, count your blessings and concentrate on creating more blessings.

(hug)

Closure was an issue I struggled with for a long time--I wanted my ex to come and apologize for all his wrong doing. I kept expecting a letter, a phone call--SOMETHING! But I saw my counselor and she made me realize that sometimes you don't get closure from the one who hurt you so YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR OWN CLOSURE.

I have forgiven myself for staying in a bad marriage. I have done some 'farewell rituals' (writing letters I don't send, lots of tears, journaling, reading, etc.). I even have a ritual called The Chasing Ghosts Tour (see journal for explanation). All of these have helped me find closure.

In my experience, finding closure for me is moving forward into the new experiences of my life. It's like talking a long walk--the farther away I get from my ex, both in time and distance, the less I feel I need the closure.

You will get there--it's just as the other's have said--TIME is the great provider of closure.

Sending healing hugs!

I didn't get closure first, since I put No contact as soon as I got divorce papers. It validated the reason he broke us apart and said we will work things out and then sends the papers, validated my fear. So I didn't want to ask him or wanted to know anything from him. But how can you forget the effort you put in the relationship and not knowing where things got wrong.

There was a book I read suggested by somebody on this site, "uncoupling", it kind of gave me insight, though I was working hard to keep things together, he gave all the signs of breaking, and I worked harder, but as book suggested it doesn't really work. You have to let them go. And I had to find my own piece that it was evident and I missed the signs.

I understand closure to make us feel better.
You have to find your own closure, because other party is not there to make you feel better, they don't care. This is something you have to find inside. Which is I did everything possible to keep us together, but now it is out of my hand, I will never know why, but this is the reality for me going forward and focus on healing rather finding a closure.

I was the one who left, but there still was the question of "why did he treat me this way?" or "what did I do to make him not love and want me?"
I found that by working on my own life, keeping busy, and having no contact that I realized it didn't matter any more. The most important thing was to not waste any more of my precious time and to make my life better. I am a trillion times better than when I was with him (27 years total) and no need for closure.

I worked with a grief counselor many years ago upon the death of my brother becuz there was no closure. We did a ritual (guided imagery) that helped give me the closure I needed for that. I would imagine that would help with closure of broken relationships as well. Good luck ((((((Hugs)))))

The one thing you can run in to, if you live in same area, many times you will feel you don't need this person in your life, and don't care WHY things happened, and boom, he/she shows up in your area or at a firend's house, be prepared to have many setbacks. I beleive it does take time not to care about this person or presence anymore.......