I am sorry you are going through it again. It is hard to open your heart again to someone given what many of us have gone through. But you did. So while he is another cheating scum bag, I think its good to know that you can give yourself, heart or time of day to someone again.

Doesn't make it easier, and certainly has your mind doubting that anyone is stand up and real anymore, but you have to know that is not the case and that this guy was not someone who was a keeper, just someone who enabled you to give of yourself again.

stay strong

Thank you all for your kind words. No, I didn't mean ALL of the men and women out there are cheating scum. It was said in a time of emotion, obviously. I have dated/married only a few in my time, all very different. I find what ends up happening is that they all think they can get away with it bc they don't want to lose me.

I honestly cannot date again. I won't do this to me or my children. I need to focus on them, which has ALWAYS been my priority. This just seals the deal to harden my heart even more and expect nothing more than the bottom up. I've always held steadfast that you need to prove yourself to me. I guess if I assume the worst from people, it can only go UP from there. Cynical, yes. I know I will be ok in time. It's hard when you have no support where you are. I just will hold it in, like always.

Sorry to hear that kiddo. You spent so much time in a shit situation, then migrated to a still, but less shitty one.

Distance creates havoc, even small ones. I'd never do it again.

AND... I never liked him from the beginning.

You know my story. What did it take for me? I had to get comfortable with me, and do A LOT of therapy, before I could get where I am now. Looking back... I take all the shit I went through, (most brought upon myself) and just think it landed me where I am right now, and I couldn't be happier.

With my ex, it was painful, and had no idea there would be an other side. With the other break-up, it still sucked, but being through it once already, I knew there would be an other side, I just had to wait it out, bludgeon it with therapy, and it eventually came. It will for you as well.

This is not what is out there. There are honest and faithful people out there (you sound like one of them). My short term advice is to write down or copy what you found. If you're at all like me, stuff like this happens and you start doubting it and looking for excuses for how you misread it, etc. Having it to look at helps you deal with it and recognize you aren't crazy and it's not acceptable.