Jeez, I'm so sorry - you know what you need to do because you are so much stronger from your first experience. Love yourself dear - love yourself enough to NEVER put up with disrespect again. Give him the heave ho...

I wish I did love myself. All those crappy feelings--low self esteem came shooting back. I swear, everyone that meets me says I'm one of the nicest people in the world. Why does it keep happen ending. I feel so broken bc I honestly don't keep picking the same type of people. The end result is always the same.

Here's the thing. I checked his phone and FB page without permission so I can't even bring it up. I'm totally in a dilemma. One would think I learned or am stronger from the first time. I think this is harder, believe it or not.

Yes, it is harder. KRKing gave you some great advice. Somehow while you think you picked someone very different he has the same core problems hidden in a different covering.

Yes, I would bring up the facebook and phone because he would be just a faint memory and out of my life forever.

Of course you can bring it up - who cares how you found out? Damn, girl, he is in the wrong, not YOU for snooping. Come on, sit the bastard down and tell him how it is.

It's complicated in my brain, right now. It's fresh and raw, and I just need to withdraw. The younger me would have ripped a new ass, the MUCH OLDER me, realizes that this is what's out there and has choices to make.

What? Really??? So all that is "left" out there for us single gals are cheating scum? Move over ladies, I'm changing teams then....

Just remember you can and will get through this. Not that you want to have to deal with this stuff again but you are strong and will get over the hump again. KRKing911 said it best love yourself and move on. THERE is good out there it's just that you have to move a lot of dirt to get to the gold.

I know, eventually. Right now, I'm sick to my stomach.

Well, first of all, I'm sorry you've been hurt. Second, I wouldn't feel badly about how you found out. Let's face it--he lied. He said he would never do this to you and he did. I think that's a much greater sin then your checking his phone and FB.

I think that with all the dangerous std's out there, we have to be more proactive about making sure we don't have cheaters on our hands when we date. It would be nice to think that we can trust and believe everyone, but past experience shows many of us that is not the case.

I think at this point, you should bring it up, and also give him the boot.

Sending healing hugs.

That is NOT all that is out there. There really are good guys who desire a relationship with someone like you. Guys who don't lie, cheat, or sneak around behind your back. Guys who expect the same in return. It is just as hard for a good guy to find a good woman out there. I do understand, you just get tired of looking. You are in my thoughts. Be strong and dump the loser.

Im sorry to have to ask but what is FWB because all I could do was turn the letters around and come up with Facebook Whore?......

:-).....ah Friends With Benefits :-)

i am sorry for what your going through, its expecially worse that its second time all yoyu can do is be strong i know easier said than done but we are here for ya

If you keep ending up with the same type of guy, perhaps a little therapy would be in order for you to explore how and why you end up with the same type, even when you're trying for something different. I found out I was codependent after starting therapy to deal with the inevitability of my divorce. I pick men who emotionally abuse me and have drinking problems because that's what I grew up with - my father was an alcoholic. Maybe once you kick this guy to the curb (it IS cheating, and no you don't deserve it and shouldn't tolerate it) you should spend some time focused on yourself and why you end up with this type.

"What? Really??? So all that is "left" out there for us single gals are cheating scum? Move over ladies, I'm changing teams then...."
LOL Sandy. According to the men, us ladies are just as bad so I don't think it matters which team you're on, the good ones are hard to find. :(

llmt--sorry for your pain! I know that deep in the gut nothing-will-ever-be-right-again feeling. :( KICK HIM TO THE CURB. You'll get past it, heal from it, and then be ready to try again and hopefully find that right one. This guy isn't him though.

Hug your kids, and be kind to yourself.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((llmt))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))