Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So my week started with me still on business in Chicago. I was doing a lot of healing while in Chicago and was starting to feel ok. Was looking forward to coming home on Thursday and put my new found "ok-ness" to the test.
And then bam! Wednesday I check my bank account and find electronic check transactions that don't belong to me. Well after some investigating I find out that my ex husband is using my routing and bank account number to pay his household bills (he does not have authorization to use this account). So I sent him and his lawyer an email and the response from his lawyer was "Mr. ______ has abided by all requirements of the final decree. You are divorced, you need to move on and if you contact me or my client again we will file harassment charges". What!!! He is stealing money from my bank account and this is your legal advice to him! So got my lawyer involved and she received basically the same response. So spent my first day back home at the bank closing and opening accounts, and filing fraud charges at the bank. I wanted to file a police report as well but my lawyer is afraid this will set him off.
So as if that wasn't enough....I decided to torture myself even more!! I had blocked my ex and the OW on Facebook, but for some reason I unblocked her (not him) last night and looked at her page. Why did I do this? Her page for the last month was only posts about me (she didnt call me out by name, but you know ho she is referring to). How I am fat, ugly, all alone, no friends, crazy dog lady, etc. That I willnever have a life and that i will die alone and unloved. Why do I care what she thinks about me? I have never met her, all she knows is the lies my ex told her and I am sure she is trying to justify the guilt of being with a married man.
So now instead of being back home and living with "ok-ness", I now feel back at square one. Not eating, not sleeping, self doubt and tears flowing. Why can't I find the strength to pull myself together.
I just needed to reach out to my DS family for some strength!
And then bam! Wednesday I check my bank account and find electronic check transactions that don't belong to me. Well after some investigating I find out that my ex husband is using my routing and bank account number to pay his household bills (he does not have authorization to use this account). So I sent him and his lawyer an email and the response from his lawyer was "Mr. ______ has abided by all requirements of the final decree. You are divorced, you need to move on and if you contact me or my client again we will file harassment charges". What!!! He is stealing money from my bank account and this is your legal advice to him! So got my lawyer involved and she received basically the same response. So spent my first day back home at the bank closing and opening accounts, and filing fraud charges at the bank. I wanted to file a police report as well but my lawyer is afraid this will set him off.
So as if that wasn't enough....I decided to torture myself even more!! I had blocked my ex and the OW on Facebook, but for some reason I unblocked her (not him) last night and looked at her page. Why did I do this? Her page for the last month was only posts about me (she didnt call me out by name, but you know ho she is referring to). How I am fat, ugly, all alone, no friends, crazy dog lady, etc. That I willnever have a life and that i will die alone and unloved. Why do I care what she thinks about me? I have never met her, all she knows is the lies my ex told her and I am sure she is trying to justify the guilt of being with a married man.
So now instead of being back home and living with "ok-ness", I now feel back at square one. Not eating, not sleeping, self doubt and tears flowing. Why can't I find the strength to pull myself together.
I just needed to reach out to my DS family for some strength!
Wow, that really shows her character, doesn't it? Think about what he has chosen for himself - he is in serious trouble with a woman who would do such things. Think about it and then giggle at what his future holds for him.
If I was the type to wear hoop earrings, I would take them out and whoop her for you, girl.
And, do whatever the hell needs to be done with that money. His attorney sounds like he got his law degree on the internet.
They are doing so much focusing on you that their lives must be in the toilet. If they were so happy together they would be off having fun instead of torturing you. I know it hurts, but try and not let them get the better of you and you really don't need to be torturing yourself more by looking at Facebook.---That is EXACTLY why they post what they do.
I wish you the best.
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))
Hugs to you!
FWIW I too had an ex take advantage of my finances. After I left, he filled out a bunch of credit card applications in my name and then proceeded to max out those cards. It was identity theft before identity theft was a thing.
It's taken me nearly 20 years to repair my credit from that one...
I honestly feel sorry for her, as I know where she will end up one day...it is just a matter of time!
However, our divorce decree does specifically state that this particular bank account is in my sole possession. Still on the fence on whether or not to press charges. The bank said I didn't have to, but I am thinking it would be wise to have an official record of this incident. There have been a couple of other times I could of filed a police report (stole cash from my purse, physical abuse {grabbed my arm to try to get me to fight back}, and told his ex wife before me that if he ever saw me again he would stab me {this is the reason I didn't attend my own final divorce hearing}).
Decisions...decisions!