I am getting hard shell tacos and a taco pizza for dinner

Sorry to hear it Rman. I am in the same position as you, and also had that "talk". I decided against moving out, figuring we could tough it out and remain in the same house until it sold. It's been 8 LONG months and still counting, and some days I question my sanity....but on a positive note....I'm with the kids everyday....so there is that as a benefit!

Take care, I know how tough it is.

I would problem get my own place less drama but I would take of her I would make her get a job.

mine is not a talker soI had to make a decision. So i guess it made it kind of easy for me. I just had to decide. Stay and continue with the suffering or go and move on. His idea of talking was "Boy it is cold outside tonight" or "Is it going to snow?" So decision made.


So how about Chicken Fajitas?

I sshe not working? I was an at homoe mom for 13 years and when we seperated I realized that if we needed seperate places that we would both hav to work. A sad part of divorce, but have you suggested she help with the incomes?

for crap sake! I KNOW my typing is bad....My hands have been really bad lately i think im ina flare...but I think you can read RED language anyway ;)

Dammit man...... similar here, when we separated, she had me paying everything, working her job (the gift shop I bought her to supplement our income, she worked 8 hours I worked the other 32 on top of the 45+ I was working at my own business), plus take care of the kids, the cooking, the shopping, while she sat home and did nothing but video chat with guys. She had it all worked out even after the divorce was final that I would still live there, take care of the kids, all the bills and she would get to run around and party all she wanted to....The Divorce was final, I gave my notice (yes, she had it set up like a rental agreement, I was paying her $800.00 a month to live in my own house on top of the spousal support I was paying, it stated in the "contract" that I had to give her two months notice) I paid my $1600.00 and moved out.

I was able to move in with some friends of mine that was gracious enough to give me a room in their house, it was a large 6 bedroom farm house, they had 4 kids still living at home, but it worked out because at least it gave me someone to talk to when I went home at night....I would of dreaded coming home to a empty apartment that first year. I soon had both kids living with me too, she could not handle the Mother thing all by herself she said, even though the New Man had moved in the week after I moved out.... I then saved up enough money the time I was there to put myself and my kids in a nice little apartment, it is small, but we are together, and the rent is low enough that I can save some money for a down payment on a new home.

The spousal support has since stopped for her, and no child support since I have full custody of the kids, now getting CS out of her is a different story now that the shoe is on the other foot. I really don't care about that, a small price to pay to not deal with her crazy ass.

The point of my long ass drawn out story is.... it all worked out, I could not deal with still living in my house with my Ex and I admire you for taking on that task. If you move out, get it in writing what is to be paid, and give yourself a out if she has someone move in, line out visitation schedule for the kids and follow it... It may look like you will not make it, but my friend, you will, and you and your kids will be fine. I feel for you my friend, it is a long tough road.

Oh yea, I am going home to make tacos tonight.... just thought I would throw that in there....

Rman - I'm really not as nice as some people - she needs to get her ass to work!! I can't tell you how many of these cases I see with false ideas of entitlement and the only way they get on the reality train is by being forced to.

Lawyer up if you haven't already and start moving her toward a job!

Lynne

Forgot to say, I'm dining on hors-d-oerves - reception tonight for the judges.

Lynne

Thanks everyone. I don't disclose much of my personal crap on here, but when I do, I can always count on you good people to provide me with inspiring, helpful advice.
p.s. - I'm going to McDonald's for dinner, cause I'm having a Big Mac attack!

I know you're working 2 jobs to help support your daughters. You might want to start thinking about the future years though. Once you start wanting visitation, you're gonna have to choose to see your daughters more ... or keep on the schedule of working all the time like you do now. Plus, when the courts figure out child support, they're going to look at your total household income & you're going to be paying more since you're making more.

Babbyyy, it's almost four years for me..... yanno living with H/stbx/fucker. I refuse to leave and for financial reasons we couldn't afford it anyway.

I know you're a nice guy, but Hon..... stand up for yourself. You'll regret it later if you don't.

Tell her you're not leaving.... you are where you want to be, with your children and if the arrangement is too much for her to handle, she can make like a cell and split!

If she says - BUT I HAVE NO JOB! then say,

Well then I guess you are a guest in my home aren't you? Leave, get a job or tough it out until this divorce is final. I will NOT leave my house and my kids so you can claim ABANDONMENT.

Time to take your cajones out of her purse and give HER a TALK.
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Chicken tacos tonight. Gotta make $23 worth of groceries last four days. Yippeee!

rman, i love you. you are one of my closest friends in the world. i love that you are tlaking about this... and getting support.


looking forward to chatting iwth you soon . for real

thanks CltLkr... ur the best

hugs

I wish I'd seen this earlier.

Are you feelin stressed because of this?

has there been anything said about selling the house and splitting the assets and sharing custody?

I love the term "nesting". I only just learned it from Lyn, and DAB bringing it up reminded me my exH and I did that for the first year of our separation. After the first month it was easy to get used to.

I got some leftover Soon chili in the freezer you can have, its really good, and doesnt even make you fart that bad.