I do have to agree with your mother; thirty-five is not old and you're being overly dramatic. I'm sure you will find loads of people who can sympathize with you but what good does that do? There are plenty of men who are thirty five who have also found themselves in the same situation as yourself.

However, that being said, you're attitude will be your downfall, as most people don't want to be around a negative Nancy, who dwells on something so silly. I'd work on changing the attitude, and I guarantee a much better outcome.

Wishing you well.

Hey, girl! It is so tough to have hope when you are going through break up. 35 is a great age. There are good men out there who would want to have a relationship with you.
Dating after 35 is kind of hard because most people have kids and have been married, but it is not impossible.

My cynical outlook is that most people are difficult, so your chances of meeting someone like your ex are higher than meeting a good guy, but it doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you and all guys want younger women.
My bf is 6 years younger than I am. He doesn't like younger women because they can't relate to his struggles.
I m sorry you are hurting. Things will get betrer

I understand what you mean. I am not trying to be negative Nancy. I know it's hard to believe that I'm really trying.

Not that I'm taking your mother's side, nor do I want to minimize your concern, but... I think you might be selling yourself short. Age is just a number. I'm almost 50. If I was in the market (and I'm not), I would be more concerned with WHO you are, rather than how old you are. Meanwhile, do you seriously think my inbox would be overflowing with "hit me up!" messages from 25 year old women? Seems doubtful. Even if they were initially interested, the idea of me trying to hold a conversation with a 25 year old woman is absolutely laughable. So, how about 35 year old women? Hmmm... More likely, right? For what it's worth, I also think you shouldn't be so quick to think of your past relationship as "wasted time." Did you learn anything? Did you have some fun? Life is about LIVING, not about hitting the finish line with a husband at your side.

I fully understand your pain, I am 34 and my husband has left me, but the kicker is he is now with a 43 year old woman. So they don't always leave for younger women (he just turned 33 yesterday). When I found out he was gone for good my immediate fear (besides being a single mom) was being alone for ever. The idea of it scares me, but I am trying to focus on putting my heart back together after he crushed it so badly. I thought I would try a dating site, to give me someone to talk to, but it just makes me more anxious that they are going to want something I can't give. I am not ready to date, I really wish I was then maybe I could move on too. It just seems like the one left behind doesn't move on like the one who left. It takes so much longer.

What a heartache for you but don't dwell so much on the age, women much older than you have started over and had successful relationships. Maybe you are dealing with some low self-esteem right now after the break-up. I think this would be a very good time to step back and assess the situation before leaping into another commitment. It might be wise to get a little counseling and figure out what went wrong in the marriage and what you want from a relationship and marriage. It's never a one sided problem. Take your time and allow yourself to heal, to deal with any lack of self-esteem and to figure out what you really want from life. There are many possibilities for you.

I think 35 is actually a great time to start over if you don't want kids.

If my wife didn't show remorse or take the steps I would not have any worries divorcing her and starting over. As I guy I know that it is different but 35 is actually a good age as people are out of school and should have a track record of working and being independent.

I'm 35 and I wouldn't be going after some 20 year old. Why would I take a risk on someone who still might not be settled into who they are yet? I married when she was 25 and I was 28 and she didn't realize who she was yet.

I'd look for someone who is mature and stable. Don't fret, you are at the perfect time to start over.

Some people put their identity in their marriage and it crushes their self esteem after an affair. Realize that you are deserving of more than your ex was.

@copingwith2 - Oy, the dating sites. Those were AWFUL. I would look at those and become completely miserable. All the people on the sites are sooo chipper! And happy! And interesting! I was like, "Terrific. So now I have to take up exciting hobbies ("I love skydiving!") and start running marathons. That's just great." I mean, really, who DOESN'T like taking long walks on the beach? ***SIGH***

I am 52 and in a marriage that I suspect may not be saveable. I still love my husband, and can still feel passionate about him although I am hurting a lot right now because of some things I've discovered, such as the fact that he basically turned off to me sexually some time ago and while we are still cohabitating, co-parenting, and being plutonic, he may not want to try to rekindle things because it was over for him a longer time ago than I realized and he's painted me into a box--he knows who I am too well. I don't know who I am. At 52, I am still metamorphosing, still growing, still wanting to be alive and vital and share my life with someone who wants me as more than "Dr. Mom." I want deep friendship and love and think I still have that to give. I want to give it desperately to my husband, but if he can't feel anything for me, I think we both deserve more. I am working on believing I am worthy of love. A friend told me that, and it is my mantra. 35 is not too old to start over, you have more knowledge and real-world/real-relationship wisdom now and probably have a better idea of what you want. Be kind to yourself. Be patient. Don't rush into something out of desperation that will feel only like a rebound. You deserve someone who will see you. I have no doubt that you are more beautiful at 35 than you were at 25. Me at 52? Well, not trying to win any beauty contests, but I don't need to do that to know that one way or another, I will not keep on being "Dr. Mom" forever. I am a woman and I want to feel like one again.

I am really sorry but hey!! you are not too old!

Please don't for a second think no one would want you simply because of age or the circumstances of others you see in your age range. All my dating life I've seen how childish and non-responsible so many can be that I often set minimum age limits in relation to my age at the time-sounds weird doesn't it? I've since learned many others have done something fairly similar. Right now I'm 49 and have no interest in dating anyone below 40...I want someone in a similar section of their life-kind-of-thinking.... There are tons of singles out there in your (mine, or any...) age range. Do not let this age thing cause you to be down-there's no truth to it. You may see a lot of people in your age range "already taken" but those are only people in your own network of friends and acquaintances. Look farther by getting more involved in new things, following your interests and discovering new ones... Heck, I wish I was 35 again!!!! LOL. Seriously, use this time to heal and redevelop your single-self. Some day you'll start to see things different. For now just focus on you. Hang in there-you're not alone!

I know how you feel but please don't lose hope...

I got married at 32 and divorced at 34. I too thought I was "too old" to find someone and I felt so lonely because all but one of my friends are married with kids!! I ended up finding someone at 35 and we dated for 2 years. Yes, I ended the relationship recently but it was because I realized he wasn't what I needed in a partner.

I'm 37 now and feeling confident I will find the right man for me in time.

Hi your not too old trust me and yourself there is hope. Stay strong take care of yourself have an open- mind, smile everyday to be alive and free. The right real man will present himself if you permeate the true strong you...

I too am in a dead end relationship, and i am 39! I look 30 tho, so at least something is on my side!!:( Anyway, what im trying to say is, i have the same anxieties, especially because this person doesn't entirely want to let me go, but he doesn't want to invest in building the relationship with me either- doesn't want kids, anything meaningful, even living together etc. Its almost like being a mistress to a man who doesn't have anyone else (he is just not the relationship type, and he told me that too late, after i have already fallen for him). So I feel depressed lately, as i love him and dont see any objective reason why we shouldnt be together. Besides, all his family is rooting for us, all our friends too. And they all think we are in a serious relationship and have a future together (we are the same age btw). That is why it is all the more frustrating, as there is almost an invisible wall between us! So u can imagine how i feel! We wanted to break this ridiculous relationship on several occasions but each time he would come back and wouldn't let me live my own life and have a chance of building an actual life for me! So how is that fair!? Sorry for my rattle, i am just frustrated as u are! And 4 years older (without kids)

If you are not going to find someone at 35 what am I going to do at 48? I am going to find a new relationship with someone who only has eyes for me and is happy to be with me on a daily basis. OK maybe not today or tomorrow but there will be a relationship in my future. It is all about your attitude. You can win this battle I promise!! Hugs to you!