my guess, is he made an immediate connection with this other woman, because she feels familar, has similarities to his exwife. Possibly repeating old, past mistakes. You deserve more than this, you are worthy of love, we all are, you just aren't going to find it in him. You cannot change or save him. I know harder said than done, but let him go. He is not worth it.

Maybe so he always said his ex wife was bipolar and this new person is but do u think it will last? Is it really love?

no I don't think it will last.

My heart goes out to you, it's not that you aren't good enough- you are TOO good! He seems to have panicked when he realized he had deeper feelings for you that he had planned on. He has issues he hasn't dealt with so his big idea is to go out with a bunch of women instead of straightening himself out, and he always has you in the back of his mind, he knows you care for him and are there for him- he is being selfish and hurting you. You are better off to cut your ties with him, I agree that he has no intention of getting married to anyone right now- he's just acting ridiculous. Don't invest anymore of your time or feelings in this guy- get yourself better and find a good guy who will show you how great you are by being great right back at ya!

I believe that you are far better than to subject yourself to this kind of thing - it is NOT a matter of you and whether you're "good enough." A man who's at this stage of a marriage disassembling after so long is, by nature, a train-wreck. Nobody can be "good enough" to pull him together, and probably every woman that he encounters in the near future will find herself asking the same questions that you are.

I love to see it when people graduate out of this kind of crap and become ready to be treated well (PLEASE don't take my words as unkind - I have been right where you are before...trust me). I hope that you add a few red flags to your list of situations to avoid, and take care of you.

Givers and takers make terrible partners - givers deserve other givers. You sound like the sort of lady who goes to great lengths to do for her man - I hope you'll move forward out of this situation with the intent that you'll settle for nothing less than a man who'll do the same for you.

I dont think anything anyone has said is harsh. I am just so confused because we both said how comfortable we were around each other. Yes i would do anything I can for the person I am with. I did what I could for him even tho we werent in a "relationship". I have bought him vitamins, burnt cd's for him, looking for stuff for him and his boys when I went shopping the day after Thanksgiving. Just like when he was drunk and pulled over on the side of the road and the cops were going to take him to jail he called me at 3am to come get him because he had a friend and she never showed and his daughter was to far away so i got up my 9 year old daughter and had to go get my brother in law to so he could drive his truck home I did this because 1 I care for him and 2 he would of lost his job if he would of went to jail because he drives a truck for a living. Come to find out this is the same weekend he met her so if they were already in love why didnt he call her?

cuz you dont want the new girl to see what a screw-up you are

sorry

cuz he doesn't want the new girl to see what a screw-up he is

She is a big partier to that's all she does is parties. She works as a bartender part time and at a gas station not saying that is bad but with her being 48 I would think she would have a lot more going for her. Am I wrong for thinking that?

all I think is, life's not a competition

well, not with the OW anyway

(((hugs)))

Do not feel like a used whore. We all have been there. He is talking to that girl about marriage as long as he needs to keep her interested. If he was married for 17 years he will stay married.

I am married myself and had affairs with several people. Only thing you basicaly can do is just tell them what they want to hear. I was stupid initialy and honestly told guys that I can not leave my husband. That insulted even those who themselves were married. I had a lot of brain damage over that so now I am smarter.
Those people who runs around a lot learn to lie not only to their spoulses but to their adult friends too.
From what you wrote about him I see that he is experienced cheater and shameless liar. He probably was cheating on his wife all 17 years of the marriage. Plus he is low enough to take advantage of women.
Obviously those 2 other girls did not last more than 2 weeks. They moved on. They have seen who he is and moved to something better.
You should not helped him with that jail issue. Who is he to you? He is not your husband or relative. Sleeping together for 6 months is not reason to become his confidant or savior. Let him save himself next time. It is not like he is the last men on the planet. I am sure that if you found this one you will be able to find another one any time you want. And you can find about 100 of married ones during one day.

Don't ever doubt yourself. If a man wants to be with you - he will make it happen.
It's not you - it's him.

Move on and forget about him - think about yourself. Your worth it.

Thanks everyone I just wish I had the strength to get him out of my head no matter what I do I am thinking Abt him. She is now friends with one of my friends on fb and she posted pics of him and her. I bet just so I could see them. He looked happy she looked like a $2 whore. I just don't get it we had everything in common came from the same background, he drives a truck for a living so does my dad, love then lake, rodeos etc and she is a California girl. Will they last long?