Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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lostgirl84 04/19/2015

I need strength tonight. I want to text him so badly but I don't even know why. I haven't replied to any of his hateful text messages but they still bother me so much. He said, " Fuck you. Here's your closure as your fucking other people the whole time we're together."

It just hurts so badly to hear something like that. Something that's not true and something that he knows isn't true. Or Does he truly believe these jealous delusions? And who cares if he does? Or is he just saying this to make himself feel better about treating me so badly. I still feel like I want to convince him he's wrong. But why?? I just want to get to the point that I don't care anymore. I don't want to miss him ANYMORE.

ALD13072 04/19/2015

I totally understand what you are feeling. I remember those days! One thing I used to do when I felt like reaching out to him was to write down my feelings on paper. Of course I would never send it to him but it did help just getting the words out!

And as far as his ugly texts, this is a textbook response of a cheater. They call it blame shifting.

Sending strength your way....

pinkrose28 04/19/2015

trust me don't respond to those messages. It will cause all night back and fourth that will give you nothing but anxiety and for a chance to say more hateful things to you.

murphytoronto 04/19/2015

I'm sorry he wrote that

I understand you wanting to reply

I feel for you and know what it feels like..

Ugh

lostgirl84 04/19/2015

He wrote that 4 days ago. I never responded and haven't said anything to him in 20 days. I still feel so emotional when I think about all the things he says I did that I didn't. It's horrible. He was horrible to me and I wonder if these mean messages are just his way of coping so he can sleep at night? Thanks for the support. I'm hoping 20 days of no contact is just the beginning of forever.

pinkrose28 04/20/2015

Your doing really well trust me. It took me 6 months of back and fourth before I was actually to really establish no contact. It is going to be so difficult to start with and I think that initial feeling of extreme anxiety and this shock to the system is what causes many people to break no contact. You don't want to have to deal with that pain and it feels like contacting them will make it stop for the moment. Yet that is all it is....temporary relieve to make the problem bigger. Hang in there =)

pinkrose28 04/20/2015

temporary relief* geez I cant believe u cant edit these messages!

lostgirl84 04/20/2015

I made it through another night and did not contact him.. I'm trying so hard to just let all his negativity go. One day at a time.

catdance62 04/20/2015

I recommen blocking his number from your phone. That will help a lot. Also, if you have done so already, block him from all your social media. Don't just "unfriend" him, block him. Just take one day at a time, that is all you can do. It gets easier, believe me.

murphytoronto 04/20/2015

lostgirl you are doing amazingly well

You should be so proud of your strength

You are certainly getting benefit from NC

Good for you

imlostinlife 04/20/2015

Ya, your doing well. Its almost 3 months for me and I can't stop myself. It humiliates and destroys me every time I do. I'm getting numb to it though.

Keep it up, he is definitely not good for you. If it helps, we know you did nothing wrong.

queenlou 04/20/2015

I think they must project a false blame to look in the mirror as I'm also being lashed out at and I'm not the one that packed up and left. I"m not the one that cheated and I'm not the one that has to live with all that...he does! You are doing great -- I actually had to block him as a contact to protect myself from the verbal abusive ish he was throwing....((Mentally I picture a monkey in a cage throwing his own ish at me...not something I would stand around and watch at the zoo so I'm not doing it in life either!! Keep your head up!!

Chris198I 04/20/2015

hey, you are doing really well, with the no contact. i understand it's hard. i haven't texted/called my ex-girlfriend in 24 days. her suddenly breaking up with me through text, and not giving me any explanation, has helped me to not be able to text her back, because she shocked me, it made me numb, and disappointed. i want to contact her at times, but i feel like at times, she doesn't deserve my attention, and i try to focus on others, family, friends, and writing.
keep strong.

lostgirl84 04/20/2015

I've used his lying to me about another girl, and trying to string me along in the end, also his hateful vicious tyrade of texts in response to my closure email to not contact him. He doesn't deserve me. He never has. And I can leave with the feeling that my last interaction was putting kindness and positivity into the world and his was a blast of hatred.

milady60 04/20/2015

If there were any point in talking to him it would have healed the relationship. He can't hear your truth. I confronted my ex about this once and he said he "couldn't handle it". That's when I learned how weak he really is. I wish I could move out of this area so I wouldn't have to run into him any more. I have other good reasons for wanting to move, but circumstances don't permit it right now. Just grit your teeth and go about your business. You'll thank yourself for it later.

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