FOund out that my boyfriend had been lying to me for the last year and a half to keep a girl in his life (not to cheat but to supply him with Xanax)! He suffered 14 years ago the sudden loss of his then 35yr old broth in the military then right after that his 59 year old father. He colapsed at the funeral they thought he had a stroke (only in his 30s then). They hospitalized him then sent him back out into the world with Xanax claiming he had a panic attack. No follow up or counceling or anything. At some point the doc just quit with the Xanax and my guy found this old "friend (I use that term loosly as she is helping to kill him) to comtinue to get the drugs for him! He never let anyone close enough to him to discover his secreat until he brought me into his life. He was torn he loved me but kept me at arms length! It never made sense the closer we got to marriage or really being close the more he would pull away always bringing me back to him just before I gave up to start back at the begining! I knew he took pills for his disorder and I thought he was under a doctors care. I tried to talk about it but he would poush me away so I stayed silent and trusted his judgement. After catching the other girl with him and hearng how they are "just friends" and "they don't do anything (sex) together" I could not figure out why she was worth lying to me, my children whom he loves, his own mother whom he adores like no other (and is a saint) to keep her in his life. I offered to step aside and encouraged him to love her the right way not behind everyones back. He asys she is not for him! Then why. I believe the answer isn't that she was worth the lies and hurt but the "drug" was! Now I have to be strong enough to not try to save someone I love to save myself from being used and abused!, again!! Remember hubby already put me through it. He is still drinking two years after the big D! Nothing is harder than giving up on someone you love that you know is worth more than that. No one else will help. He keeps everyone at arm's length so they don't catch on. Protect the addiction at all costs you know! No way to help! Any ideas!