Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Ugh. My ex called me 3 times this morning at 7 AM. 7 AM?? Really???
I understand there is a time difference between us of 8 1/2 hours as he is currently in Afghanistan...but geez. 3 times????
I had a flashback. He told me once when we were together and married, that I was the LAST person he wanted to wake up to in the morning.
Well, the tables have turned...because he is the last person I want to wake up to now that all is said and done.
He also called last night at 730 pm while we were in the movie theater. He left a message asking if i could email him, hoping we were ok, saying he had purchased a birthday gift for my son and is having it shipped to our home.
Sidenote: He next to NEVER calls. He has spoken to my son 3 times this ENTIRE year and was just home on a 2 week leave last month. While on leave he was supposed to have his visitation with my son and never even called him on the phone much less make an attempt to see him
that is neither here nor there, some things will never change
But Im noticing,
The further I am away from him and the more he is cut out of our life, the more he seems to want to cling these days.
He left 5 years ago and we have been divorced for 2 yrs this month.
Anyone else experience this? Ive moved on, i fought like hell to do my work, and Im exceptionally happy with my life now. My business is expanding and booming, my kid is happy and healthy, and I have the most fantastic man ever in my life right now.
I wish he would leave me alone.
I understand there is a time difference between us of 8 1/2 hours as he is currently in Afghanistan...but geez. 3 times????
I had a flashback. He told me once when we were together and married, that I was the LAST person he wanted to wake up to in the morning.
Well, the tables have turned...because he is the last person I want to wake up to now that all is said and done.
He also called last night at 730 pm while we were in the movie theater. He left a message asking if i could email him, hoping we were ok, saying he had purchased a birthday gift for my son and is having it shipped to our home.
Sidenote: He next to NEVER calls. He has spoken to my son 3 times this ENTIRE year and was just home on a 2 week leave last month. While on leave he was supposed to have his visitation with my son and never even called him on the phone much less make an attempt to see him
that is neither here nor there, some things will never change
But Im noticing,
The further I am away from him and the more he is cut out of our life, the more he seems to want to cling these days.
He left 5 years ago and we have been divorced for 2 yrs this month.
Anyone else experience this? Ive moved on, i fought like hell to do my work, and Im exceptionally happy with my life now. My business is expanding and booming, my kid is happy and healthy, and I have the most fantastic man ever in my life right now.
I wish he would leave me alone.
the problem is that he called you at a time when you were emotionally wide open: at 7am.
we are most emotionally vulnerable during our first two hours of our day and our last two hours. it is human nature.
therefore: do not take calls during these time periods and do not do any heavy left brained problem solving.
with that said, this is a chance to place a healthy boundary point. tell him the hours that he may call. outside of that range, do not answer the phone. also, remember, he is adjusting to being a single father with an ex wife. the two of you will have to continue to create something that is tolerable for both so that your child wins. practice makes perfect, i suppose.
just my two cents worth, namaste. i don't have children so my ideas might not be very practical. i dunno. only you can decide.
***Make note now to leave cell phone off and in the other room on that night......****
I wish my ex husband well on his journey. Im done with my pain as it relates to him, but it still cuts me to the core in the way he treats his own flesh and blood. My son doesnt deserve his abandonment. For what its worth, (and I dont say this from malice) my son is much better the less contact he has with this man. My ex is very violent and has exposed my son to things a child should never experience..he watched porn in front of my then 5 yr old, sent photos of my child to people on a swingers site, not to include alcoholism. I could go on and on, but its behind us all.
Im still steamed i will admit, that for him to come home from a war zone for 2 weeks and not even have the time, effort or decency to pick up the phone and even call the kid, really gets under my skin. I CANT call him a parent. He is a sperm donor. plain and simple.
And yep..we have had the discussion about appropriate times to call.
I completely understand he is not always able to do so, depending upon his mission and that times are limited...but 7 am???? I just dont want to wake up that way in the morning!!!
kids have to have role models to supplement the parents because every kid has to grow and stretch beyond their parents influence.
but, i am probably preaching to the choir. :)
Its sad...from any point of view to watch...but especially as the mom. Thanks again..I need to keep the positive perspective of all that IS right in our world and continue to leave behind what is not.