Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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valium2015 01/14/2018

hey I am new here. Needed some sort of support group because I feel like I am constantly talking about my relationship and it’s annoying to others. My boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago after a 14 year relationship and two children. The last three years we have seemed to drift apart mainly due to lack of communication with out financial responsibilities. He has an entrepreneur mindset where I work in a corporation with sick days and personal days. If he didn’t work, he didn’t get paid. In the last four years I have gone through two deaths of grandmothers and a miscarriage. Bieber one of those times was he there for me emotionally. We’ve tried counseling (only 3 sessions) which was not enough. It seems as though I must have gone through undiagnosed depression and anxiety. The last few months have been rough for me bc we decided that it was no longer working. In the back of my mind I said this is fixable and I am not giving up. Well he stayed in the house and one night I lost it backed in something he said or lack there of. I did hit him and then told him that it’s best that he leaves. So he is very angry that I “put” him out. Despite some of the disrespectful things that he has done prior, like staying out until 3-4 in the morning and one night not coming home at all. I flipped!!! Soonin the last month I have been reading and praying. Holding on to if there is hope. We have two children and that is all the communication that we have. He does not talk to me, doesn’t ask about me or anything. I try to start conversations but he either chooses not to answer or changes the topic. He is STUBBORN!!! I know his pride is hurt but I’ve been hurting and crying out for help for over three years . Just going through the emotions and trying to move on with my life. Keeping the hopes that if it was meant to be it would be. Soo much more to say but this is long enough...

kimacbrown1980 01/14/2018

Hey I am sorry you are going through such a tough time. My bf just broke up with me a few weeks ago and its been sooooo hard. I know your heart is hurting.

Let me ask you, does he want to work things out or is he like some men who really aren't sure what they want.

I will say whatever you decide you will have to work on your communication skills because whether it's him or you manange to move on that is important.

How can I help you tonight? How can I support you

valium2015 01/14/2018

Thanks for your response... at this point he says he doesn’t want to work on anything but himself. I don’t know how he could just give up after 14 years... then again he didn’t marry me either. Communication was a big factor in our break up. We are both passive aggressive and really didn’t know how to approach one another in the last few years. I am now just trying to take time to work on myself and when I’m good my children will be as well.
Sorry to hear about your break up... this is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with.

ClutterBrain 01/14/2018

I would say if you guys still want it to work you should either go back to therapy or communicate. Men have so much pride that they don’t let us know what is wrong but expect us to know how to help. Or even then maybe a break is what you guys need. From my break up I know that ego has a lot to do with stuff because he might not feel man enough because he can’t support you guys and I’m assuming a lot of your disagreements are financial. But like you said if it’s meant to be it will work it’s self out. But stand your ground don’t allow him to disrespect you with coming home late especially when he knows you don’t approve of it because if you continue to allow it he will continue to do it. Wish you and your family the best of luck during this time.

valium2015 01/15/2018

Thank you!!! I still love him and yes the responsibility of money was the issue which led to resentment which led to disappointment. With all this it led me to just shut down and handled what needed to be handled. We became distant and I became angry. He tried self employment many times with his talents twice without discussing it with and put all financial bills on me. Once it got rolling he did well then he would try something else. He puts forth sooo much effort in those dreams but none in the relationship (in the last few years). He says I wasn’t supportive and I was negative. All I needed was help. Yes if we ever work it out there will definitely be some ground rules.
Thanks for listening

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