Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It's been a while since Ive posted on here.
My husband & I are getting a divorce.....I think. Maybe we're separating. I really have no clue.
All of this began about six weeks ago. We had a big fight, things were said, & we talked divorce. We went for a week w/o speaking to one another, another week of awkward niceties, then a decent conversation, followed by yet another fight just two days later. Then, he left on his hunting trip, he was gone 10 days. During this period, there was minimal conversation. When he got back, he came in, & gave me a hug & a kiss, & told me he loved me. For almost a week, life was back to normal. Hugs & kisses, I love you's were exchanged, even sex (because I'm weak). I kept wanting to bring up what had happened before he left, but didn't want to start another fight. I do not like confrontation, & I just didn't have the energy to deal with his attitude and temper. Finally, one night, he was being flirtatious; so I said to him: no, you can't do this. He said do what? I said, all of this, the night before you left for your trip, we were yelling and screaming at one another. Then you come home, & it's like nothing happened. He shushed me, & said, just let it be. I said, no, this is exactly what we were arguing about in the first place. Again, he said, just let it be.
GAH! What the hell does that even mean?! I am so confused, I don't know what the hell I want anymore. I still love him, & I'm sure a part of me always will. I know I need to tell him, but how? Unless he is the one calling the shots, then he doesn't want to hear or talk about it. He refuses to go to counseling; marriage or, for himself. I have my first counseling appointment next Thursday. I'm hoping that will help.
I hope counseling will help you decide also. It sounds like he is happy to say and do anything he wants and if things don't go his way, he just won't talk to you until he is good and ready. My husband used to pull that till I realized how much I liked his silence. Once he figured that out, he never did it again.
I think you need to really think if you want to put up with this stuff for a very long time, or maybe have some happiness in your life. It doesn't seem like your husband is willing to change. If he ever says he will change, look at his actions rather then just lip service. It sounds like he is pretty selfish and doesn't care about your feelings.
I wish you the best in whatever you decide.