Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Unsure how to move on

CantLetGo
CantLetGo

 I'm new to this.  I don't have a great deal of friends because the majority of friends that I had were my ex-boyfriend's friends.  We dated for two years and he has said that our next step would be moving together.  That conversation took place a few months ago and it was what we were working towards.  Myself him and his tween daughter went on vacation for a week to visit friends of his, we got back on a Sunday night and I saw him again 5 days later, that following Friday, and he told me he just didn't see us moving in together and since that was supposed the next step, the relationship ended. I got up and grabbed my things and left, sobbing all the way home. 5 days after that I come home to find he'd left all my things from his house, on my back porch. Our trip was great we actually celebrated my birthday while we were there. There was no indication anything was wrong. We are both 48 yrs old. I am feeling lost and very lonely. He sent a text when he'd heard how upset I was to find my things on the porch, saying he wasn't ready to see me yet and figured I felt the same and "sorry" if he was wrong.  For some frame of reference this all happened 11 days ago. Any thoughts, suggestions, ideas, anything at all you think might help me, please reply. I don't know how long I can go on lying on the couch sobbing like a 16 yr old girl but that's exactly how I feel. 

CantLetGo
CantLetGo
Day 16. No contact. No nothing. I see glimpses of him through Facebook via mutual friend tags and such. It stings. Even though there's not really anything to see. My mind can create all sorts of scenarios. It sucks. And every day that goes by the hope of his return dissipates. Not to say it's gone, it's just somewhat bearable. I love him. Still. And I keep thinking that I should just be pissed that he walked away with very little reason, at least that was shared with me, but I'm still mostly sad. I went out with girlfriends last night, first time since the break up. I survived it. It was hard. I kept looking over my shoulder and through the crowd hoping to see him....and hoping not to. Music isn't something I can handle yet, it was so much a part of me and him. Smiling seems forced but I did it. I even updated my profile pics to a picture that was taken last night, while smiling. I felt like having nothing but black background seemed too gloomy. If by some chance he saw the pics then good. Hopefully it gave the appearance of moving on. And then the sadness sets in because I don't want him to think I'm okay since I am 100% not okay. What is wrong with me? Pining for a man that bailed with no warning. A man who didn't even find me worth the slightest effort to work things out.
CantLetGo
CantLetGo
It's been 18 days. I might be getting better. And worse. I have stayed in NC. A couple of people have suggested I contact him to just clear the air, have the final talk, or whatever. But I know him well and I know what words he said and I know that in the end, he just didn't see us moving forward. 2 years seems like a long time to figure that out but I can't judge him. It was the choice he thought was right for him, it's just unfortunate he didn't include me in his thought processes before just walking away. I'm still sad. Mornings are the worst, waking up and it hitting me all over again. I still peek at his Facebook but only allow myself to do it once a day. I'm lonely. Some of the loneliness is my fault, I don't have many friends and none that aren't his too, so I'm avoiding all of that. I can't pretend I'm fine in front of them. I miss him and I miss how we were together. I know thats going to take time to get over, I just hope it's not too much more time. I've been at least talking to myself about working out, haha, baby steps right?
CantLetGo
CantLetGo
I heard from him last week. It was a message on Facebook. He told me to unfriend him. He told me he was just honest with me. Honest on the first day and honest on the last day. He told me it was good, what we had, and he didn't have anything bad to say. Then he said unfriend me again and told me he wouldn't protect me from his life much longer. I didn't take that as a threat, more like fair warning that he's going back to being his social self. Anyway, it was difficult to read because when I saw the message pop up my heart raced and then when I read the message my heart dropped. I did reply back I told him I have not said anything negative about him and that if it was good and he didn't have anything bad to say then why would he end it, that it just doesn't make sense. I told him I loved him and that I thought he was my forever. I also told him that if he didn't want to be my friend on Facebook, he could unfriend me. He hasn't. FYI: I realize some of this makes me sound like I'm still a kid but I'm not. I'm an educated, 48yr old woman. But this break up did a number on me and it's like it took me right back to my very first heartbreak. It had been almost 3 weeks since the break up, I don't even understand why he bothered reaching out.