I don't' think it would be appropriate to offer support for your divorcing without knowing what happened. It's a fair comment too that people should not criticize you either until they saw your list of reasons.

That said, I don't think people who provide misplaced support do anyone any good.

Typically in a divorce you get the following.

Husband's lawyer and therapist. Your wife has a narcissistic and manipulative personality. Unfortunately you have been an enabler and by constantly catering to her moods you have allowed this to grow.

Wife's lawyer and therapist Like most women, you are eager to please everyone, putting their needs first. At some point, you cannot put yourself last, and you need to decide what will make you happy.

Husband's friends and family Sadly I see so many men do poorly in divorce. They want their children to be taken care of and even their wife. Jack from the Lion's Club is a nice guy but I don't think as a lawyer he can handle this feminist piranha your wife has and it seems she wins on everything.

Wife's friends and family Jane your husband is a very powerful man in the community. What is being proposed is nowhere enough to support you and I am concerned that no one is sticking up for you and protecting your interests in this whole process.

Typically with misguided expectations and pandering on both sides, tremendous amounts of money are wasted in divorce.

Marriage takes work and I think with two children, perhaps you two can try to work together or understand each other's needs. While I understand your therapist paid by the hour by you likely tells you some of what you want to hear, hopefully you can try to see things from his perspective, his from yours, and see if progress can be made, and if not, work on reasonable arrangements for dissolution.

@Cristiana -

While I know my first comment was "harsh", I do feel the additional information and insight you provided, later in the post, clarified A LOT about your situation. Had some of those details been present to start, people would've had more well-rounded advice for you.

Okay. I understand. Thank you to those who have apologized, shared your stories and for the helpful advice. I appreciate your time and effort in responding. As far as the mean, harsh comments, they should not be posted regardless of what a person says. A rule of daily strength is to be nice when responding and a lot of people have broken that promise. Unfortunately, now I don't find DS a safe place as I once did.

nice is subjective and relative. It's possible to not only see the writer's feelings at stake but also the recipient of said such behavior. The tone of niceness was set with the initial post.

"This is a 'Support Group,' not a 'Judgement Group.'" We would all do well to remember those words. I know I miss that boat, from time to time. Thanks for the wake up call. I think this site should put that in place of "promise to be nice."

I never experienced what you are experiencing. Take no offense to what I am going to say, but don't wait for another man to rescue you from your current situation. You need to rescue yourself! If not you may wind up in a situation that is worst than your current situation.

Also, is there a reason why you are not being truthful to your husband. You indicate that he provides financially for the family.

"Also, is there a reason why you are not being truthful to your husband. You indicate that he provides financially for the family. "

^ Valid question, and some might see him as a victim also that needs support.

I just joined this group. I am very unhappy in my marriage as well. My husband is abusive. I have been looking for a support group in my area people to speak to and honestly it is not easy to find. Unless you get professional counseling that cost money there is no one to talk to and get guidance from.

@kobieta - Have tried the National Domestic Violence Hotline? They can put you in touch with resources in your area. 1-800-799-7233

see if i post what i think dont criticise me, this is a support group that is true but people speak from experience you cant wait for a man to escape with. you have to have the strength to do this on your own, you cant wait for someone else to come along and take you and your kids away, i am the fauther of a 14 year old daughter with aspergers and an 11 year old girl, no one is swooping in to take you away like they did nto swoop in to take me away, i struggled when i got seperated especially since my ex cheated but until i had the strength to do what needed to be for me and my kids alone anyone i got involved with was a crutch and nothing more, to every story theres too sides and sometimes reality is a hard to swallow thing,

i am not trying to be mean by the way, best advice i ever got from anyone in support of my situation is do for yourself what you feel is best, dont expect others to offer support until you know what you want, anything else is like putting duct tape to cover a leaky pipe it might work for a day but then your back to a leaky pipe sometimes you have to swalow a dose of reality support on this site comes from both sides its not always positive

Missy my phone calls are being monitored so i cant do much of callingout and when you do call one of those numbers they try to contact you with a shelter their support group meet once per month during the mid morning. Even if i tried going that route i work and i am unable to attend any of those groups