Ioh and i know that text he just got is his ex ..... like always .... how can someone just hurt someone like this

hi. thats my favorit saying to me it sounds like he has no idea how great you are so next time say no you love him but he isnt giving you what you need hes not giving you the attention, compassion and love you deserve hes having his cake and eating it to. if i were you next time he wants some tell him to ask his ex that he is talking to you deserve better than that so show him. big hug to you. im here if you need to talk

sounds like you are going through a hard time right now... aali, have you thought about counselling? it might really help you work through this ... take good care of yourself.

Have you thought about just moving out?

If he has no idea, ya think maybe you might wanna have that conversation with him?

I think that it really is not healthy for you to stay there, trust sometimes we have no choice at the time, just was there a few months ago with my ex so I feel you...I just tried to avoid my ex until I could move, it was hard but I finally did...good luck *hugs*

I agree with others. It sounds like it's time to have an open and honest talk with him about where you two stand. If his feelings don't align with yours, then you should move out. It's tough, but I don't believe it does you any good staying. Good luck with everything!

I don't understand....you broke up but you still live with him AND his parents.

I agree, the situation is unhealthy and you need to find your own place while he gets his space. If he still lives with his parents that should be a clue to what a life with this person is going to be like. RUN!

OK...Misred said it better than I did.

RUN!

Welcome to DS. I'm sorry for your pain. We know that drill all too well and it is so sad to see someone going through this hurt. Here are the links that a fellow DS member, PGamble and with contributing members, put together. We all care. It's time roll up your sleeves and start taking those necessary steps before we MARCH MARCH MARCH. Do your part and we will walk beside you and you should seek counseling in addition to your daily strength. Godspeed.



http://dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/2816539-manual



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/forum/Off-Topic-Posts/6358621-stages



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/forum/Off-Topic-Posts/6358615-loveless



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/forum/Off-Topic-Posts/6358611-7steps



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/forum/Off-Topic-Posts/6358596-no-contact



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/forum/Off-Topic-Posts/6358587-forgiveness



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/forum/Off-Topic-Posts/6358584-loving-yourself



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/forum/Off-Topic-Posts/6358575-loneliness



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/forum/Off-Topic-Posts/6358567-pastas-posted



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups-Divorce/forum/Off-Topic-Posts/6358554-drama



http://dailystrength.org/help/crisis-resources



http://www.hud.gov/homeless/index.cfm



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/6969338-your-message



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/7880220-break-up-survival-guide/lastpage



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/8291684-survivors-bill-rights/lastpage



http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Breakups_Divorce/forum/8686330-101-little-instructions-surviving/lastpage

Here is another contribution from a beloved member that will be leaving us...Zen11...we will miss her and we thank her for so much and of course, for her parting words that she allowed me to share with you:

I have watched many come and go...and come and go again. I have read too many "good-bye cruel DS world" threads, not that there's anything wrong with that. Its just not my thing. As much as I would like to acknowledge some wonderful people publicly, I'll just keep this here and hope that some find this with sweet serendipity.

I'm certainly one who likes to give her opinion and advice, so it really was difficult to end my thread addiction. So here is my final advice (yeah, gotta have the last freakin word):

On online support group etiquette:

1. don't be an ass. I could write a dissertation on this topic alone. I will spare you.

2. yes, there is a difference between a 20 y.o.'s 2 month relationship blowing up and a 40 y.o.'s 15 year marriage tanking, but pain is pain. Have some compassion for pete's sake. Refer to #1 before responding.

3. number nabbing is a serious sport. it is not for the weak or those with dial up connections.

4. online groups aren't all that different from "real people" groups. you wouldn't walk into a party and start talking shit about people you don't know so don't do it online either. read the threads. read the responses. learn about the people in the group. refer to #1 before responding.

5. creating multiple profiles, trolling, stalking, etc. is creepy and just plain wrong. shame on you. refer to #1.

6. nothing good can come of starting a thread after midnight on a lonely Friday night while drinking. trust me on this one. okay, maybe some good. those who are sober are usually thoroughly entertained.

7. starting new threads every half hour that pretty much detail your every thought is grounds for banning. okay, it isn't, but it should be. Journal that shit.

All right. Getting off my high horse now. I should be allowed up on the soap box once and awhile considering my veteran status. :)



On break ups:

The best advice I ever received is the same advice that made my blood boil when I first got it. Take care of yourself. I didn't understand what that meant on many levels and no one ever expanded on it. In a nutshell (cuz an entire book could and should be written on the subject) bring the focus back to YOU. There is a time to vent about what an asshole your ex is, but that time really needs to be short. Get it out. Journal, bitch, scream and let it go. Then bring the focus back to YOU. Basics. Food, exercise, hygiene, etc. Every time you catch yourself complaining about what the ex is doing or who they are doing it to, stop. What are YOU doing? You won't change what she/he did. You won't change her/his behaviors. You can only change yourself. Live the life YOU want. Right now.

For God's sake get some therapy and don't take all your advice from some whackos on an online support group site. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another interesting contribution from and old visitor:

"10 SIGNS YOU NEED TO BE ALONE STILL AND WORK ON U

1. If youre driving in the dark with your cell phone in the cup holder looking down all the time thinking his ir her name is going to appear, you have some healing to do.

2. If you get stupid gitty about someone online making you feel "special" when just 30 days earlier, you were a mess, you got some healing to do.

3. If a simple phone call or text by him or her keep you going for days chasing a mouse in your head, you got healing to do.

4. If you are nostradamus and are predicitng some encounter with your ex in a few days/weeks/months that's going to end up in what movies are made of, youre in for a shit sandwhich.

5. If you think a baby is going to make everything better, you got shit coming for 18 years.

6. If you are staying together for the kids, do the kids a favor, they dont need "2" empty parents. Least one will be there if alone and not having to watch after the grown kid. This usually applies to women since they are the peacemakers and guys are just fcking dumb. (Note I said some guys. The guys here on DS are actually tops. Even Noob hahahahaha. But not Darin)

7. If you are wondering when its ok to date, youre not ready to date. Especially if you start a thread about it.

8. If you drive different routes to avoid seeing that "Special little exit off the freeway that you guys took to go to your favorite place", you need to be alone for while.

9. If you go out on a date, and all you think about is him or her, you should not date for a while, call a therapist, and refund your date his or her money for being an asshat.

10. You still have their numbers, emails, on your computer or phone. (Unless kids are involved of course)


Bonus: If any of these offended you, you're not ready to date and need to be alone."

Is there a way you can change your living situation? Trust me, I know how hard it is to live with someone who is not in love with you anymore...it sucks ass...sorry.

Alligirl, I have been exactly where you are now. My ex and I lived together for nearly a year after we broke up and he tortured me with stories about all the women he was dating, he texted them in front of me, talked to them on the phone in front of me, etc. It was so painful to watch him do these things. He didn't even have the decency to go to his room and talk in private. It took me nearly a year to save enough money to move away but it was worth every penny, every tear and every drop of blood and sweat. You need to get out of that house. I think once you are away you will be able to piece your life back together. Is there anyone you can move in with? Have you thought of friends, family? Maybe roommates.com to find a roommate. Please consider removing yourself from that hostile environment. Please let me know if you would like to talk more. All my best!

I agree with seeking out counseling or getting in to a hobby or finding things that interest you in life. You CAN get over this person. Why spend so much time crying over a person who can treat you this way. That is what I kept telling myself and eventually it sunk in with me. I am at the point in my life (age 42) that I can honestly say if someone doesn't want me the way I am then they can move on. I am in no place to care about them if they don't care about me. I've been hurt too many times over the years. Life is way too short. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Why let one person get you to the point of downing yourself. You are important to YOU and that's all that needs to matter. ever.