Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
tailspin916
Well, it's 45 minutes past midnight here on the west coast and I just got back to my hotel room. I'm on a week long business trip a few hundred miles away from home and away from a soon to be ex-wife who apparently is manipulating and using me.
Anyway, on this trip I met several other coworkers from all over the country and in particular, an attractive female counterpart about 10 years my junior that works out of one of our the east coast office. We all spent the day in meetings and training on the latest products. We all had dinner as a management team and we all ended up at the hotel bar where we were all talking and just hanging out. Anyway, I ended up talking one on one with this female counterpart from the east coast and for some reason the topic of my current situation at home became the topic of conversation. I think she started to feel genuinely sympathetic to my issue at home.
Anyway, long story short, we engaged in good conversation for a couple of hours and a good amount of drinks. I walked her to her room around 12:15 AM and she asked if I wanted to come in to her room and talk some more. Although tempting, the thought of my wife and our potential separation, I decided to gracefully reject the offer and told her to have a good night. I realized that even if my wife MIGHT be seeing another man, I still love her and respect our marriage.
So, now I'm here in my hotel room running different scenarios in my head. I know morally I did the right thing, but another part of me is saying I passed on an opportunity to possibly get even with my wife. I have to admit that it is an ego boost to know that there are some members of the opposite out there that find me attractive (but at the same time it might just be the alcohol). Why am I posting this, as I'm not expecting a response to this post from you? Perhaps I should have just written this as a journal entry.
Anyway, on this trip I met several other coworkers from all over the country and in particular, an attractive female counterpart about 10 years my junior that works out of one of our the east coast office. We all spent the day in meetings and training on the latest products. We all had dinner as a management team and we all ended up at the hotel bar where we were all talking and just hanging out. Anyway, I ended up talking one on one with this female counterpart from the east coast and for some reason the topic of my current situation at home became the topic of conversation. I think she started to feel genuinely sympathetic to my issue at home.
Anyway, long story short, we engaged in good conversation for a couple of hours and a good amount of drinks. I walked her to her room around 12:15 AM and she asked if I wanted to come in to her room and talk some more. Although tempting, the thought of my wife and our potential separation, I decided to gracefully reject the offer and told her to have a good night. I realized that even if my wife MIGHT be seeing another man, I still love her and respect our marriage.
So, now I'm here in my hotel room running different scenarios in my head. I know morally I did the right thing, but another part of me is saying I passed on an opportunity to possibly get even with my wife. I have to admit that it is an ego boost to know that there are some members of the opposite out there that find me attractive (but at the same time it might just be the alcohol). Why am I posting this, as I'm not expecting a response to this post from you? Perhaps I should have just written this as a journal entry.
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Anyway, I really couldn't talk to anyone about this obviously, but I know I was really surprised at how much of an internal struggle I had with the decision during and afterward, so I think I know how you feel. It's in our human nature to want to get that attention, but just know that you are the bigger person for choosing to stay true to your values and your marriage despite the possible actions of your spouse.
Enjoy the compliment.
It shows you are attractive and will be with someone when the time is right for you
Your ground
is the higher road
Good for you and Stay Strong
A person should honor their vows, cheating is a severe breaking of the vows, divorce is severing of the vows,
Keep your honoring of the your vows until you are divorced, you'll keep your honor that way (if you have kids, it is much better for you in the long run to not hook up)
You need to focus on getting your wife to come UP to your level, not lowering yourself down to her level. If you and your wife are to reconcile, the last thing you need is to create a whole 'nother level of "Things to deal with."