Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So this is my second profile..
My wife and I a getting a divorced. I have always had suspicion of her cheating. Last night it came to truth. But what breaks me the most is that for so long she has manipulated me to believing that I was the problem. That I was being too insecure, clingy and delusional.. It was with the very person I suspected. And even when I had proof and confronted her, she still denied. It got violent. I lost controll and I put my hands on her. Something I know was wrong, and had absolutely no right doing... Later she admitted it. Said she had been seeing him and speaking to him. Im not sure if it makes it worse that we are two women, and she cheated with a man. I have committed six years to this woman. I dont even regret it. She was the love of MY life. I truly believe that she wanted me to be hers. But there was just no way. It was in the cards for her...
I broken and it got to the point where I drove off, with a loaded gun. Went to park in a dark spot behind some warehouse. Chained smoked what seemed to be a million ciggarettes. I laid my head on the steering wheel and pulled the trigger. There wasnt one in the chamber, I went again and the mag fell out (its a .22 ruger, my hands a big). The third time, I made sure there was one in the chamber. I removed the mag. Got in to position, and pulled. At a very split second I though I heard her voice that I jerked my head back. It missed me by the skin on my teeth...
A huge sigh of relief. I started shaking. Weeping. Praying. Thanking God...
I am lost and broken. I am scared and confused. My spirit is broken, and my heart is heavy. I dont know why... But I still love her. I still want to be with her and I just dont know how to heal or deal....
A break up in itself can be quite devastating... but betrayal adds a whole new element.
This is all new and happening... healing will take time. Don't rush it. Allow yourself to process the information... and mourn the loss.
Violence towards your ex or yourself will not solve anything... it'll just make a bad situation worst.
If you can seek counseling, or open up to a caring family member or friend. Don't try to do this alone.
Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you have. Don't harm yourself or anyone else. This is a time to be gentle with the most important in your world - you.
Sending you some light and love.
Sorry for the pain, Although it seems endless there is Light at the end of this tunnel.There is Light. There is. It is a matter of p=u-s-h-ing yourself to get there.
Right now you will never ever ever ever believe what I am about to tell you. You wont find comfort- in what almost anyone will say because your brain is wired a certain way and all your movements- mentally and physically is attached to the peptide reactions in your body. Its about breaking ( sorry ) a bad habit, Its crazy to say this but if you are so bold to put the 22 ruger to your head- I KNOW- you are strong enough to walk down this tunnel to the light. You see the truth is you are Light and no matter what you think right now-your mix of emotions is you fighting yourself.
You see- Light is always going to gravitate to truth and Light, Your mental and heart in its purest form Only wants and needs Truth, Light, The Universe is in control here with these things. It knows you need Truth and Light and what is purely for you, You are fighting this because you are saying No I want hurt her-I still love her, No- her destiny has lead her down an alternate path, Be Thankful and appreciative that okay you were on that road and then there was this fork in the road, What is meant to be will always be, The Universe is never wrong, It is ALWAYS for you and never against you. It always positions you for a WIN never a Loss, Now you may see it as a Loss right- but you have to readjust your vision, You are okay, As best as you can focus on yourself. Be fruitful and joyous to yourself. Keep your energy positive- on High, The Universe knows what it is doing here, Let it. Relax and let it- it hurts because you dont know how to trust ( letting go and allowing yourself to be happy while doing it is you being the highest version of yourself).
Now lastly- in every relationship that we encounter in this life cycle- you may think it is all about feeling "that love thing" feeling that connection" or oh I found my soul partner..... Nope its not.
Mostly they will show you a reflection of your self and something in that reflection has to be worked on, adjusted, or corrected.
The reason that you are in any relationship in life is to Become the Best Version of Your Self".Now with that being said, You are the Best- always know this- Biggest Hugs Ever- Please Go and live your best Life- you haven't even begun to........ : ^ ) !!!!!!!!!!!!