I hope this works out for you. This is not the first time you have alluded to violent behavior or language toward your wife.

This is the only time I ever laid a hand on her and it is to push her off me. I have scratches and a huge bruise on my chest. All she got was red mark from being pushed too hard. I know violence is not the answer, that is why I walked away. She was the one who kept egging me on.

You said "she . . . pushed my buttons."

You have to take responsibility and acknowledge your part and that you were wrong in knocking everything off her night table (which means you went into her room) and were trying to grab her cell phone (it will look like you tried to stop her from calling 911) and you ended up hitting her in the face.

They arrested you because you hit her and not because you were a man. You have to fess up to a judge and take responsibility because judges don't take to you blaming others for what you do.
And her "pushing your buttons" isn't an excuse."

I would expect to get put out of the home--not when you expect to move in May, but immediately. So start planning.

I totally accept responsibility in what happened. I should have walked away when she started.

I was sleeping in our bedroom when she woke me up and started on me. She threw my keys and cell phone out the window. I was still in bed when all this were happening. She was not calling 911 when I tried to grab the phone.

I just feel really stupid for letting her get to me like that. My friends and family warned me she was going to do something to get me in trouble. I should haven listened to them.

What's done is done.....learn from it and continue to move forward.

As was mentioned, learn from this and move forward. I don't remember why you two are still in the same household, but if I were you I would rectify that ASAP.

Don't set yourself up to fail again. Don't put yourself in another situation where you allow her to get to you and then you make another horrible choice. I would crash on a friends couch, get a room elsewhere just in order to avoid anything remotely close to that type of situation. Its not good for anyone. Best of luck.

Maybe you need to move out. My thing is she knows what buttons to push and you react. Someone told me once "Someone can't get on your back unless you're bent over"

I am not judging I am just saying get out of there for yourself because its only going to get worse and who knows what could happen. I know its hard to just up and leave but sometimes you have to sacrifice that for your own safety and others as well.

Men can be battered too!

If she is starting physical fights why do you remain there?

I have moved out. In fact, I was in the process of moving out when all these happened. I wasn't even supposed to sleep at the house that nite. The only reason I stayed, was to stay with the kids. STBX goes out every weekend and didn't know what time she was coming home. Didn't want to leave the kids by themselves.
I thought I was doing the right thing.

How old are your kids? Who keeps them when you are not there?

They are 16, 14 and , 10. I know the 16 and 14 can watch the 10 year old. I just don't feel safe when they are alone overnite. I guess I am very protective. We have never left them by themselves overnite.

If you have moved out you probably shouldn't have tried to stay over, it would have probably been better to take them to your place or stick to the visitation schedule. Did your ex know you were there? I don't know it seems like you may still be trying to do things your way and you just really can't do that especially when emotions are involved. You and your ex probably need time and space. Your children will be fine. I hope things work out and you are not hit with a restraining order. I would hate to see you put out of your kids life because of this.

Like, I said, I was in the process of moving out. My STBX new that. We have discussed that I will be still living in the house in May, while I was moving and getting my apartment organized. She new a I was staying at the house.
The whole incident should not have happened at all. There was a lot of stuff I could have done differently to avoid it. I just didn't know she coming home pissed off.

After this incident you probably want be allowed to stay there anymore. If I were you I would avoid her as much as possible since you are the one feeling all the raft from her attacking you. She will probably do it again to get you in more trouble. You have to out smart her are you will end up in a LOT of trouble because she knows how to get you.

Totally agree.
My family and friends told me not to be alone with her. If I have to get something in the house to bring a friend.
Right now, we only communicate by text, for the kids schedules