Here's what you gotta do: (1) Do 10 jumping jacks, (2) Make your bed, (3) Do 10 more jumping jacks, (4) Fold and put away all of the clean laundry, (5) Once you've actually put away 90% of the clean laundry, throw a load of dirty laundry into the washer. Aaaaaaaaaaaand Begin.

See how easy that was?

Gotta get a friend to go with you to pick up your stuff. Preferably a dude he's never met - who looks good in a suit. That will TOTALLY confuse your ex. (Just like in Legally Blonde!).

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

Mr Cellophane- your tooo funny.But I hear you.That is the ticket right there and if you cant get a guy in a suit -rent one- just do it. No seriously if you cant get
a guy in a suit- get a girlfriend. All you need is your Gameface. : ) ,

It is tough- when your on that end of the see-saw- the end that slams down on the concrete.- but in seconds the see-saw flys up. Listen no there is no easy
way= to do this unless you tell him leave the stuff outside and you run and get it- or just have a friend do it- he probably will just go in another room while you gather the things.Other than that do the Jumping Jacks!

Unfortunately it’s dirtbikes and gear and bedding and clothes. Besides the bikes, he wouldn’t even know who’s is who’s. I was always the one that packed the toyhauler and everyone’s clothes and bedding. So I do have to be there. Ugh

Awkward= it is painful and I am sorry but what if it is really his loss not yours.The only thing to do is
yeah do it through gritted teeth. Plan it out so you dont get caught off guard- or use the texting to break the ice of it and act like it is just a normal day.Like text and say Hey just an fyi I am coming at this time- Im,in a
hurry so I'll try to gather it together quickly you know

Ooooo! I like the thought that it is his loss. I don’t think I’ve thought of it that way since he essentially was blaming me and I would defend myself. Even though the main thing he was so pissed about I had no control of. The other things were being dealt with but to him not fast enough. I can only be the best me I can be and if that’s not good enough for you, that’s on you because I am good enough.

Do take someone with you. That way there is a witness to what is said and what is taken, It might benefit you to record your time there as well, just in case some altercation or possessional behavior arises. Better be safe than sorry. Take your time and be sure you get whatever is yours. You don't want to have to do this type thing more than once.

I've been the "guy in a suit" a couple of times. Short, tall, fat, old, young, muscular, or wimpy - You simply introduce him as either "This is Rocco" or "This is Mr. Bianchi." Imma tell you: It confuses the Hell outta the other person. "Is he an attorney? A boyfriend? Is he Mobbed Up? A cop? A PI? Is he from the IRS!? Damn. I don't know, but I better behave just in case."

If he asks "Who is he?" just say "I told you. That's Mr. Bianchi." And get back to packing up.

Meanwhile: What's the news on the laundry, dishes, and jumping jacks?

Yeah well ummmm i depression binged a Hulu show BUT it was on the couch not my bed and I did shower. And I did re read screen shots of a convo I had with a girlfriend about how I deserve so much more than to be with someone that just shuts down and bails when difficult times happen in a relationship. He did it once before over a fight but after 6wks we talked and he apologized for overreacting and I thought we were good. Apparently not. And that I need to get myself in a position where if a man leaves I’m not stuck with no job and no place to go again (when my exhusband and I split, I hadn’t had a job in 15yrs and had no way to support myself). Also another good is that while I’m utterly heartbroken, my self esteem still is intact. So I know that what’s happening now is on him and not about who I am as a person. Does that make sense?

Yay...you are making progress! Breakups aren't easy, but so glad you realize that his issues are his issues and while the relationship may be broken, YOU are not :) HUGS to you....sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. Final thought-loss is still loss. Allow yourself to have times of grieving, then pick yourself back up like you did this time, and move forward. It will get easier, but you already know that. HUGS to you-you rock!