Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Ravenck 05/08/2017

Its been two months since the separation and im severally depressed. Today i just laid in bed and cried. Everything felt daunting and overwhelming. When do you start to feel better? Im in counselling, i read all the self help books, I try to do normal things but it just seems to be getting harder and harder. My ex friend says i dwell on things. Especially things i cant change or fix and i admit it I do. At least for awhile. Everyone.. My family and friends want me to start thinking positive but i seem to have this dark cloud over my head. I know ive been depressed for years but as long as i had stbx i seem to battle it back now that we are separated i feel like i am drowning in my sadness and I hate it. More i hate myself. I blame myself constantly for the mistakes of my marriage ending because thats what ive been told. Really, when does the pain start to ease?

mirandac 05/08/2017

Joining a divorce care group helps A lot During
this time. It was a life saver for me plus alanon
And therapy.

You need to Get thru the divorce first before any
True healing can start. Even then there Are more
stages to move thru.

The transition stage is a tough one just not as soul
sucking as the separation and the divorce process.

Get on meds if you really need them, they only numb
You up though so there is good and bad there. There
is one way With grief and that is thru it, face it, process
it and hopefully let it go. HUGS

Alovetolast 05/08/2017

I completely understand what you are feeling. I feel the same way. I'm in therapy and it seems it's getting hard and harder every week. Like you, I keep thinking about my contributions to the demise of my marriage. Everybody that went this painful process will tell you that its a complete waste of time because it's done and over. We have to forgive ourselves and learn from it. But it's hard, right?

All I can say to you is, hang in there. My support system including my therapist promise me that I'll be better and the pain is temporary. Things will get better. Honestly, I'm hanging by a thread right now, but trying my best to be okay. I hope you do the same. Hugs

Ravenck 05/08/2017

AlovetoLast yes I agree completely. It is pointless. I know he treated me horribly especially at the end. I know i shouldnt dwell on what was and focus on my future but.. Its not so easy. Today like you im barely hanging on. Hugs i hope you find your peace too.

Alovetolast 05/08/2017

I hope so too. Btw, please watch yourself carefully. I'm currently worried that I'm about to go through bad depression. I'm trying my best to dig myself out of the hell hole and trying to find ways to distract myself like downloading apps that will entertain me - play games or color some pictures. I hope you find some ways as well. Trust me I'm not the type to do these things, but I'll do anything just to be okay.

Ravenck 05/08/2017

Alovetolast im doing the same thing and it works for a short period of time. But its better then doing nothing.

mirandac 05/08/2017

I still do a lot of adult coloring books and watch
Netflix. When its real bad during thanksgiving to
new years and my squirrel brain is running i listen
to lots of meditation music on YouTube.

My concentration is still not great, i use to read
All the time not any more, i do try to do the best
I Can. I can still do the visuals and easier stuff
like you tube Self help videos.

Do crafts or something fun and creative. That will
Stimulate that part of your brain and give pleasure.
And help you relax. Chamomile tea helps too,HUGS

Ravenck 05/08/2017

Thats the crummiest part. Relaxing is something that I rarely do now. Even if im watching a show my mind is going back to the situation. I know my faults..nobody is harder on me then me, and I really want to get over this hump. Very badly.

Alovetolast 05/08/2017

I know what you mean. I want to do the same thing - get over the hump or what I call hell hole of pain. Good luck on both of us. I have a lot of faults too and I'm in a never ending loop of woulda, shoulda and coulda. And, many will convince us to let go of it because there's no used. It's hard.

I wish both of us the best and hopefully able to get out of our hell hole of pain soon. :)

bees2000 05/09/2017

I take vitamin D, the sun vitamin, at least 2 a day, especially at night. It helps me stay calm. I am calm most days now. Its been 3 years. I tell myself, I can do this now.

paiste7 05/09/2017

I totally agree about joining a divorce group. There are probably some online too. But in person is much better. 2 months is very fresh.

Stay off of medication, get some exercise, go places, meet new friends and be yourself! You're whole life is ahead of you! :-)

MARBA 05/09/2017

I don't know how long you were married, but I was married for 34 years when my ex just "disappeared", from my and our children's' lives. In the first few months I was a zombie, it's been almost 3 years, and I am still not over it. It takes soooo much time, just go through the movements, it'll get better.

MARBA 05/09/2017

I couldn't watch tv, nor could i read or relax. It's only now that I can have more than 1/2 hour or so thT he's not in my mind.

Pheonix95 05/12/2017

I felt like u do three years ago when I departed from my ex. Counseling is a good step. But get out of the house. Try to do activities that u would normally want to participate in prior to the divorce.
I'm. Not going to lie. This is going to be a rough process, but once u embrace it and move through it, you will eventually find your way out of the "paralyzingly" point in grief. But u have to want to feel better.
I don't recommend, being alone a lot. It provides u with too much time to ruminate. Stay connected to true friends and supportive family. Stay away from people that make u feel worse.

Your not alone. I still have periods of feeling "inadequacy".

sjs777 05/12/2017

well put Pheonix, seek support in those who are supportive

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