Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I must tell myself to breathe. I am so drained and exhausted from this breakup. I am fighting irs so just sent in my second batch of proof kids lived with me for over 6 mos in 2015. Long story short we were seperated he lived with his mom. Kids lived with me till we moved back together so 9 mos we lived in that apartment just kids and me. We were discussing jan 2016 how to claim kids on taxes and he just decided he claim all 3 behind my back. I sent paper return to claim all 3 and burden is on me because he claimed first.
I took new job in jan and he said he help change custody schedule so I could take new job well within 3 weeks he changed his mind which left me in bad predictive the for my weekdays custody with them. We had mediation over parent time today that didn't go well. He won't budge on nothing. I figured but the entire time he goes on and on how much he does for me how he pays so much child support....ummm 200 for 3 kids wtf and its stopping soon as we both make same now!!! Goes on to say he dont feel any sympathy for me be ause of my schedule and job issues. I never asked for sympathy! He is such an ass so now I have to file to see judge....meh
In like 2 weeks we see judge over papers he filed to stop child support which i am ok with. However he now wants reimbursed sinice i started new job....like really...he knew I started new job and pay. I asked to wait till I get first full check to stop it.he said he would wait till second full check. Now he wants all child support back from jan.
I feel i honestly have no life. My life is work my kids fighting irs and going to court. That's it. I moved 15mos ago kinda though by this point the stress wouldnt be as bad but everytime i turn around more crap...more crap.....
He has more support. He lives with his mother yet act like he does all this stuff when I have way more stress and little support. It's stressful. Some days I feel like why do I even wake. I am so sad.
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
Omg why is he not paying child support until those kids are 18,?
I know lawyers cost money, but you need one.
Maybe someone with info on filing for permanent support can tell you how to do it yourself.
It sure sounds like you're allowing him to screw you big time.
Do you have proof of how much he earns? Copies of his paystubs? Don't just trust what he says.
I don't think he will get child support payments back from January. You were honest about the increase in income, you didn't conceal it from him, at the most he might get something back from the date he first petitioned the court for it. He should have petitioned the court back in January for a change in custody payments. There might be a small issue if you didn't inform the court, but maybe that depends upon how much more money you're making now.
I'm sorry for this mess. He certainly is not being fair.
If there is 50/50 custody, or even 40/60, there may be little to no child support unless there's a significant difference in incomes. (Which is what it sounds like here.)
To play devil's advocate: Her ex could choose to live on his own. That he chooses to live with his parents and to save money that way...should that get penalized against him?
Moving, after a divorce...is again complicated. Often it's the parent that moves that has to pay the increased costs involved in the children traveling back and forth...but...states are all over the place with that. I think it's Michigan where you will almost automatically give custody to your ex (if they want it) if you move more than 50 miles... (look this stuff up if you think it affects you). There's also the issue of moving by choice or are forced (only place you can find a job).
Most states give you a certain amount of time to report changes in income to the state, and most will adjust child support about every 3 years. Job loss doesn't get you out of or reduce child support, and a pay increase it right away. As far as I know, no state lets you "sign away" rights to child support.
Many states have different options for how one pays, from it being deducted automatically from the paying parents check, to parents doing it all on their own (as my ex and I have). The last is the most economical (no fees), but you have to 100% trust your ex.
Last, although it doesn't come up much, if a child has to go into foster care...both parents may end up paying child support to the state.
So the question...can he get the child support back? Maybe...is it worth taking a day off of work or getting a lawyer to fight over it? That you have to decide on your own.