perhaps you were hoping he'd put more of a fight up, to fight to keep you or the business? but he walked away instead?

Its harder to stay in that angry place that we feel we deserve to be in when the other person isn't putting up a fight. If anything, try to remember he's a human being too and is hurting probably just as much, if not more than you are. Empathy is a good thing if you can find some for him. Just b/c you are divorcing it doesn't mean you have to stay on a shitty road all the way through.

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. No matter what the circumstances are, every seperation/divorce seems to be an emotional roller-coaster. Are you seeing a counselor right now to help you deal with everything?

I'll be praying for you today.

I was seeing a counsellor but I wasn't clicking with her and it's so costly. I'm so lost, I feel like I'm making the wrong choice but feel like I would be happier without him. How can someone feel remorse, hatred, and confusion? So many feelings I don't know which ones are prevalent

If you don't know, then don't do it.

Its normal to feel a jumble of emotions. Your Dad would want you to be happy. You need to do what feels right for you. Of course you will have regret and confusion. Even ppl leaving really bad marriages experience that.

So let him go.. sounds like he is trying to guilt trip you from my perspective. Good Luck

It sounds like you have been very unhappy with him for a long time. When I divorced 14 years ago, I agonized over what to do. I was done about 2 years before I left. He knew I was done, and it was uncomfortable. I felt that when I did leave, it had to be, at least in some part, a relief for him that he didn't have to sit and wonder when the inevitable was going to finally hit.

When a relationship is over, it is no secret to either party, even if you don't talk about it out lowed. Being uncomfortable and insecure about the inevitable is hard. Somebody's got to be big enough to call it when it is time or both ppl just live in misery.

What do you want, you both treat each badly,
How did your relationship get to such a stAte?
Do you want the relationship to end?
Do you want it to get better ?
What are you willing to do?
What is he willing to do?

I have decided to divorce my husband. He's a serial cheater. I have tried to reconcile with him for over 4 years. My husband knows how unhappy I am in this marriage because of his cheating and because of his continued deceitful, neglectful behaviors and actions. I have told him before that I do not want to keep living this way because I am deeply unhappy and very hurt. My marriage is so bad it has been affecting my health. I have told my husband that if he continues to treat me this way and live in this type of marriage that I will divorce him. My h apparently doesn't believe me, or he thinks that because I have put up with his behaviors for so long I will not really get up the courage to leave him. There are times when I tell him about how I am feeling and he cries and says he doesn't want a divorce, but he continues to be deceitful and he continues to neglect me and our marriage. I believe he cries and feels bad out of guilt. His unwillingness to be the kind of husband he needs to be tells me one thing. It tells me that he does not love me. I have accepted that which is why I will be filing for divorce. The fact that I have accepted the fact that he cares nothing for me does not mean that it is not painful. It doesn't mean that I don't wish for things to be different. It does not mean that I am not scared to leave this marriage. However, I know that my husband will not change and I know that I have no other option but to divorce him. My husband is also (right now, at least) acting civil about everything I say to him. He's just going right along with what I say. That makes me wonder why he doesn't care more about us and our family. Both of our lives are going to change for the worse and he just accepts it with no emotion. He acts like he's fine with it.
I feel empty, sad, and hollow, also. But my husband's profound, severe lack of affection for me tells me that I am right to divorce him. I also don't think he will act the same when I tell him I have filed for divorce.
Divorce is a huge loss. You may want a divorce but that does not mean getting divorced is not painful with a lot of negativity involved.

Perhaps it's not too late to turn things around in your marriage. There are so many people that regret it once they get the divorce. It's certainly not a road to an automatic happiness. Oftentimes, the struggle after the marriage ends is worse than it was before.

No one can tell you what to do. It's a decision you must make for yourself. I got some great advice from a mentor one time. He said when you're making a big decision, never violate your peace principle. If you don't have a peace in your heart about the decision you're making, I wouldn't take another step in that direction until you do.

Praying for you.

I also just broke up with my fianc. I have been divorced as well. I started to resent him and not like him. He actually wanted some time and it was a mural decision. I have huge mixed emotions and he probably resented me as well. Ending a relationship is hard no matter what. Not sure if I truly loved him like I used to and since I have trust issues from my ex husband cheating, I am at fault as well. Sometimes distance gives you a new perspective. It is a difficult but doable journey. Hugs to all in pain.

Hi Shan: Hold on one moment. You two had been fighting yesterday. Then tonight, you two had a "text conversation" (hate those and I don't see why people can't talk face to face) and it spiraled out of control.

I don't know if you can hold him to that text conversation because he said to tell your dad he's not loading tomorrow. He didn't actually relinquish in writing ( with his signature and your dad's and a notary) his part of the business with your dad. He also may say he's walking away, but you still will be attached to him unless you get a divorce and he may lay claim to whatever. He may have been drinking and as soon as he sobers up a bit may change his mind.

And I am disappointed in you that you hadn't talked with your dad all about this from a while back when you came on here about this. This is your dad's business and he should have been made aware all along instead of you keeping it from him. GET ON THE PHONE NOW TO HIM AND TELL HIM. If your husband does something stupid or gets roaring drunk and crashes a truck into several cars and kills a whole group of people, your dad could lose everything he has. You dad needs to know all about this now and he should have known about this a long time ago so he could have contacted a lawyer to protect the business. Shame on you,.

To be honest, I don't know how our relationship got to such a state. I'm depressed. Have been for a long time. Taking medication but something is still missing.....I've had issues....clingy, co-dependant that sort of thing in the past. I got sick with severe vertigo over 10 years ago and it changed a lot in my life. I was pretty much on the couch or in bed for a good 6 weeks. Stopped exercising and my eating habits got off kilter. I started having major anxiety and thought so many things had to be wrong for this sudden dizziness. It's a long story but I've never been right since then ( in terms of my health-physical and mental).
Was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart for 6 years and this all happened while I was with him. I changed, but didn't really see it. He broke my heart. I never got myself help to deal with the heartache on top of my depression. I didn't heal myself and started dating guys online and sleeping with most of them. I connected with some but most were rebounds, void fillers etc.
I met my husband online and thought I had fallen in love. I could tell he was off right away but we connected hugely on an intimate level, never really emotionally. I think I let things get this way because I never truly loved myself and dealt with everything and sought out the wrong people. He is not perfect by any means and together we just let things go. We don't communicate and we bring each other done. His drinking drives me nuts but it's not any one thing. I think it's too late to save, we are both too damaged and I don't want to put the effort in with him because I don't think he will put in his effort. Since I'm the problem according to him.
ATGB- I'm disappointed in myself as well. However, my dad is fully aware of my husbands drinking issues, that is not what needs to be addressed. There are no secrets there. And yes, texting is very impersonal. We were fighting and then the next day he was back to work. Otherwise we would have talked face to face. He could have been drinking and therefore his comments not valid, but it's no secret that H drinks. He does not drink while working.

How are things Shan? Has anything changed for you?

Hi Eco,
It's so hard because we are apart and going through this. I would say some things have changed. My husband completely opened up to me. He wore his heart on his sleeve and I don't think I've ever experienced his complete and total honesty and sincerity. I believe too that it's completely genuine. He's had a shitty life, abandoned at 12 and got into drugs, hung out with older people, bounced around foster homes. He doesn't have a lot of his original family left. He's reconnected with his cousin and is building a strong relationship. He's told me more about his upbringing knowing it's scary and to him embarrassing. He's opened up to me about his concerns and I've learned so much about him in a short time. This new found honesty has been nice. It's not enough, there is much work ahead, but it's a start and gives me grounds for where to start. We need to lay everything out, each other's expectations, each other's non-negotiables etc.
a little more time will tell