the sick feeling comes when our insides want change and we don't give it to ourselves.

get some ideas, rman. there are ways to improve your situation. it sounds like you just need more ideas.

there must be a way that you can find where everyone wins. other couples do so it can be done.

Just realized this was an old post,
oh well, still a good one

My stomach has pretty much, finally settled down. Every now and again I get that panic feeling that hits my gut. But....I'm am sooo afraid of the day I am served the divorce papers/or have to file them myself. I know then, I start all over again. I can't file until I live in my new state for 6 months, and since he wasn't man enough to tell me about wanting to leave me, and then not man enough to admit to the affair, and then! When I called to ask where he was going with her and still he didn't admit! (i described what she was wearing!) I doubt he'll be man enough to file. So I will have to. When I'm finally getting settled it will all start over? Not looking forward to it at all.

I also lost about 25 lbs. Just couldn't eat--the stress of the affair and then dealing with the separation and divorce really took their toll.

I've pretty much kept the weight off though. I discovered after ex left that I was using food as a "drug" to deal with all his verbal/emotional abuse.

Never going back there again.

Hang in there, Rman. It will get better.

Hugs!

Rman...a lot of here can relate. Can finally say 4 mths into this that the stomach is doing better than it was. I too have lost weight. And I love it. I was guilty too of using food for comfort during the last 1 yr prior to split.

It does get better. Can only stay down for so long until your survival instint kicks in. Still have rollercoast emotions, but not near at bad as at the beginning.

Now, I focus on the positive (most of the time). I like how I look better than I did. I'm motived to continue to watch my weight. That is a positive I am doing for ME!!!

you have come a long way rejectedman.

hugs

Well, I can say that when my marriage ended I thought I would never love again. I did love again but I think I loved to soon because now that has ended and that same feeling is back. I hope your right about it getting better

I had it...i felt horrible for the weeks leading up to him leaving and for a month or so afterwards....
I have now moved on to eating everything in sight....I gotta stop...I gained about 10 pounds in October....and with the holidays coming...ughhhhh.....my mom made pralines Saturday for the LSU tailgate party and I ate so many of them.....seafood gumbo too....so much of it........I gotta do something this is getting out of hand. One thing I haven't beend doing much of is drinking though.

yep, been there ,done that, and doing it again dammmmm.
I lost weight but later loved to look in the mirror.. tnk's ex
gained some back to my dismay, but will work on that. [goal]
still have shakes and tightness in chest when thinking tooo much
yea Rman u make alot of sense, to me
They say it's a rollercoaster ride, and I always said I would never ride a rollercoaster----now look at me , WHEEeeeeeeee..... see how you just cheered me up.

I found something to get rid of the 'punched in the stomach' feeling. I talked to my ex and found out what I had done wrong and what he had done wrong and how we both felt. I still have the loss but I sleep better and can breathe again. I think the pain in my gut was the need to deal with a problem and not being able to because I didn't know what it was. Once I was able to actually tell my husband I was angry and hurt and why, that feeling went away within minutes and hasn't been back. The bad part of that is, not many people can confront their ex's and talk through everything.

I was away from him for nearly a year and the gastrointestinal troubles I have battled since before my marriage went away almost entirely....my arthritis was much improved....now I'm living with him in the same condo, and I'm sick again.

Yeah, this stuff hurts the stomach....being with a creepy, mean person hurts the stomach, and the back, and the shoulders, and the heart.

I dream of the day when I am free.