I miss my exS when I'm in physical pain or I'm sick, yep.

but *ahem* if you dont recall the last couple of hours, you need to attend to the possibility you may have a concussion

Possibly, but when I do fall awkwardly, sometimes I do knock my lights out for a bit. My MG did a flare up and I got clumsy and went down. Got to love leg spasms.

you are going to have ups and downs, it is not surprising. Especially when you are hurt physically or emotionally. You want to reach out to that person that has been there for all that time that you knew you could go to in order to feel better; but they just aren't there. Its those times we feel the emptiness that they left behind.

Hang in there, I would like to say it is normal as most people stumble and go up and down. You're going to be Ok. You are re-learning some things and that includes dealing with some of the MG issues you will have and she won't be there to take care of you.

Hang in there and feel better

I sure hope so. I am back to my happy place after a 2 hour talk with my mother about it. I don't know if it is normal though. It was seriously a flood of emotions. Like when I first regained my awareness, all I thought about was death, suicide, and her. Then some serious depression on top of that, of how I'll never be ok without her, needing to know what was going on with her, yada yada. I checked her friends facebook, found out she has been seeing someone, so that made me feel horrible for a few minutes. Went upstairs, talked, and now I'm back to where I was before I fell. It is just so strange to be hit like that. I've never felt anything so intense before.

Every minute of every day I can alternate emotions. One day I think "oh I only cried a little today, I must be healing" then the next day I can't stop crying or get out of bed. I have no idea when it'll hit or for how long. I have started to try and ENJOY the moments of peace a little more and they seem to last a bit longer that way.

You're doing really great.

Oh yeah,
2 weeks ago, My Ex took me to Court. I did file a cross motion, but the new judge hearing our case was not happy. He dismissed the case. And ordered us to go to mediation.
Basically, I won that battle, because the judge essentially gave me what I asked for, to keep things the same and Go through a third party to resolve issues. I was happy that day. I still should feel good, but I don't. I found myself in a depressive mood.

But go see your doctor about the fall.

I haven't experienced anything quite like that, except that I noticed that I am more emotional when I'm in physical pain. I have Fibromyalgia, so some days are worse than others. I try to fight it off or distract myself as soon as possible with something I enjoy, but there are the days when all I can do is just feel the pain, both emotional and physical. It sucks because then I become angry for letting myself go there.

Sometimes when we are making some really good progress fear sneaks out and sabotages us. The sudden realization that we are happy, or just not sad, can make us a little nervous, or a lot nervous.

The timing may be important, just after a fall and black out. Do get it checked out Feeling depressed can be a symptom of other health related issues, so if it was sudden, you might want to seek a physician's opinion.

Depression runs within me. I've dealt with it since I was 10. I did call a doctor today to ask if it was anything to worry about and they told me that coming out of a blackout can sometimes cause the brain to overload. He said he would see me if I was concerned, but he didn't think it was anything major to worry about. Personally, I'm not too concerned about it now.

I'm back to my happy place that I was Sunday. After talking to my mother, and to a member here, I feel a lot better again. A minor setback knowing my stbx is with someone and would appear happy, but I guess I can't expect her to hold any value to our marriage. She did end it with me, so why should she be respectful and wait until we are divorced.

But I'm not going to let it bother me anymore. Let her be happy I guess, not much I can do to change that, nor is it my right too. I guess I just wished she was suffering like I was, so that it felt like she lost something precious, like I have felt for the last 2 months. It is alright though, Karma will catch up to her eventually. So I'm going back to being happy, and full of motivation to keep going in the direction I am. I won't let her actions alter my course anymore. :)